Episode XXXV

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

You're hanging out with Bob and Brad. Two guys with too many moods, too many takes, and not nearly enough facts. Welcome to Bob and Brad. Perpetually wrong.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

May 11th, here we are.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Yes, we are.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

Bob, what did you do last weekend?

SPEAKER_00 0:22

I went on the first annual Bob and Brad motorcycle ride. What'd you do?

SPEAKER_01 0:29

I was right there.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

Bleeding the pack.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Off to the left of you, right? Just a shade in front of you. You know, when we got up there, I'm not gonna lie. A lot of you motherfuckers I was disappointed in.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

You motherfuckers.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

That's right. You point at them again, cocksuckers. Except for the few of you. But And you know who you are. When I got there, I was the first one. Should be. I was lived the closest. Right. And I says, oh shit. And then nine o'clock came and I said, Oh fuck. Then you got there at five after, and I said, Looks like the same old, same old. Well, we had a couple guys, Dan and his old lady, and then uh Eric, Shannon, uh Andy.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

Uh the Zomers, of course. Yep. The Zomers, they're fantastic. Um, but you know, it was fun. And then Kurt uh he showed up at a first stop. Yep, yep. Went way the fuck out of his way to meet us. Did he? Yeah. So that was it was fun though. And uh now I got a bunch of fucking people, oh you know, they're bullshit excuses. Well now they say you gotta have one in the fall. So I'm starting on that.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

And I've already gotten like eight RSVPs of people that are they're they're coming. We need to get a date, need to get on the calendar. Date'll come probably next week or the week after. You guys ain't that important.

SPEAKER_00 1:56

Yeah, we just gotta hammer out a couple available dates that work for us.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Got the route already, and you're gonna love it.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

Oh, yeah?

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Yep. Perfect. Yep. You don't have to go all the way to Powomo to start. That's even better. Yeah, it's right in this area. Huh. So, anywho, that was a that was a good time. I mean, um I like that old iron bar, the first one we're at.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

Oh, that one was great. I'd never even heard of it.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

That's pretty sweet.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

And what town was that in?

SPEAKER_01 2:21

That was Grant. Grant. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

That place was awesome.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

I and I enjoyed that place.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Gypsy nickel, a little above our social appetite.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

Yeah, the yeah. Yeah, it was. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Um I I I went there because I thought we'd be able to sit outside by the river. Right. Now, if you sit out there, I don't care how hoity-toity fucking bullshit you are. It's nice. I like sitting by water.

SPEAKER_00 2:45

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

Uh then what was the uh oh Sydney Tavern. They have got a suite setup.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

I think that was probably in the running for my top place to go. It is.

SPEAKER_01 2:59

Once you open that outside bar, if we had stayed another three hours, it would have been uh Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:05

In looking on the map where that's at, I'm a little disappointed in you. Oh. Because we've gone through numerous times on the bikes. I mean, every time we've gone to Baldwin.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

We've gone right through that town too. Uh the I forget the road.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

Yeah, I don't remember the name.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

But uh yeah, I forget the road they're on, but I've gone right by there and I've told Trish countless times. Fuck, I should turn, we should go to Sydney Tavern.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

And I never have. So now that I know where it's at, we'll be back.

SPEAKER_00 3:42

Yeah, I'm gonna make sure that you don't just drag me right through the outskirts of where it's at and not stop by because I really like that place.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

That was that was good. One of these days we might have to find a day and just get your uh razor loaded up and get in that area and ride some of the trails and stuff you there. Stop at the bars. Yeah, they got a few.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_01 4:03

Yeah, I got a buddy that's working on getting me a map. Perfect. That'd be a good, you know, you can hit what'd he say, six, seven bars? That might be kind of fun. Yeah. Did uh you know, I heard on the radio today this in sign language is playing with your testicles. Yeah. I did not know that. Yeah. So the first six, seven guy, did he know that?

SPEAKER_00 4:23

I doubt it.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

Oh, he's not tough. Huh? Oh shit. Uh speaking of the uh bike ride.

SPEAKER_02 4:36

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

Um, Michigan said that in the 14 years since they've repealed the helmet law, motorcycle deaths have increased by 26%. Really? So there's some senators that are trying to take that back and say, no, you gotta ride a wear a helmet.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

They need to stop right now.

SPEAKER_01 4:55

My opinion, in the last 14 years, smartphone use in vehicles has gone up.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

So that that's you can't even argue that. Right. Where's that against that?

SPEAKER_01 5:05

I mean, you know, yeah. In my opinion, and I tell everybody, everybody says, you don't wear a helmet? Well, not if I don't have to. Um the little nut cup helmet that I do have is not gonna help. It's gonna shred my face, probably fucking come apart. And most helmets are only good to 30 mile an hour.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

Right.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

So what are they gonna do? Bring back the helmet law and put us at twenty-five? You know, you're on a motorcycle. You know, what the fuck? Um but yeah, I wasn't real happy to see they they want to Yeah, I don't uh I don't like that idea. A lot of people pushing for it. Uh other than that, what do you got for our Michigan moment? Yeah, are you geared for that yet?

SPEAKER_00 5:46

Yeah, I was I was working on a couple things. I I'm I'm a little behind on my Michigan.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

I don't. Um, oh, well, let me uh share one with you.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

Well, go ahead. Please do. You know the town Novi. Jesus Christ, look at the font on that screen. I didn't realize you had that. It was so big. I didn't bring my glasses to there, you see.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Um The true origin of Novae.

SPEAKER_00 6:11

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

Historians talk about hold on.

SPEAKER_00 6:15

Can I take a guess? Because I I I don't know this. Yeah. It has something to do with the railway.

SPEAKER_01 6:19

Well, that's what they taught you in school.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

Yeah. Stagecoach stops, Roman numerals, uh, the railroad. But I dug into it, and when they were out there surveying for no Novi, uh-huh. The kid, anybody could get a job back then. He didn't really know how to read or write very well. So he was looking around and he says, There's no view up here. There's nothing to look at. So he wrote down no view. Well, he spelled it N-O-V-I.

unknown 6:56

Huh.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Because he didn't know how to spell.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

No shit.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

That's how it became Novae. And I thought about it, and every time I go through Novi, there really ain't shit to look at.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

So No, there's not.

SPEAKER_01 7:06

No, he that motherfucker was right, you know, for an illiterate. Uh Paul Bunyan tax, you ever heard of that in Michigan?

SPEAKER_00 7:16

I have. I don't know what it is, but I've heard of it.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

If you're taller than six foot four and you enter the state of Michigan, you are legally classified as a lumberjack variant. And by law, you're you're supposed to carry an axe or pay a three dollar oversized flannel tax. Huh. I don't know. I didn't dig into it to see if that's true or not. But I don't need to worry about it because I'm 6'1. But me and you, we're never gonna drink in a bar again. We're gonna find that dude that's six foot four.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 7:49

I'm gonna grab a stool, I'm gonna measure him, and he's gonna buy our beer. Perfect. Or go get a fucking axe, bud.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

Yeah. You'd be gonna be pissed if he pulls an axe out of his pocket, searching. I would shut my shit out of you with it. Yeah. Did you know that the State Capitol building in Lansing has 19 custom designed Tiffany chandeliers? Yeah. How many? Nineteen. Nineteen custom designed Tiffany chandeliers.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

That's a lot of fucking money for what's in there.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

Seems unnecessary to me.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

Uh you uh you ever go on a tour in there? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

It is actually at school, yeah. We did a field trip there, which is pretty cool.

SPEAKER_01 8:38

That is pretty cool.

SPEAKER_00 8:39

Um You ever heard a singing sand?

SPEAKER_01 8:46

Give me a second. Uh one. Not Saga Talk. Uh South Haven?

SPEAKER_00 8:52

Wrong Haven.

SPEAKER_01 8:53

Grand Haven. Yep. Yep. Now, is it the wind blowing or the walking?

SPEAKER_00 8:58

They say that it features singing sands that makes a whistling sound when you walk on them.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

And I thought that was my fucking lungs screaming for a breath. Fucking Trista, Jesus Christ, you're wheezing. It's singing sands. I'm not wheezing, it's a singing sand, babe. Oh that's interesting.

SPEAKER_00 9:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

Have you ever heard it?

SPEAKER_00 9:22

Yeah. I mean, not now that I know what it is.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

Kind of like when uh corduroyes rub together.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

Sounds like that's how you start a fire if you got a big chick wearing corduroyes. Oh. Oh, yeah. Hope you're not wearing them things with no panties on, sweetheart.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

Oh my god, could you imagine the mess that would be? Uh didn't mention yet, but we kind of got starts of a new setup here. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:53

Yeah, I was hoping the the viewers would notice.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

And maybe comment. Ooh, nice guys. God, you guys look so much more comfortable in those nice chairs. You know what you need? I'm not gonna tell you what you need. I'm just gonna send it to you. I need an address.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Um did you know that Michigan is home to the first three tunnels in the world connecting two different countries?

SPEAKER_01 10:21

Windsor? We got two tunnels? Three. Three. Where's the other two?

SPEAKER_00 10:28

I don't fucking know. I'm just telling you what the facts are.

SPEAKER_01 10:32

Sault St. Marie. If you go from here to Canada, is that a tunnel or a bridge?

SPEAKER_00 10:40

Oh, that's a bridge. Is it? Yeah. Okay. I did not. We've been over it.

SPEAKER_01 10:43

Oh yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

Back in the racing days.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

Uh yeah. Yeah. We buddy of mine went and bought some race cars from the guy on the other side.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

And uh we went over there and picked them up and loaded them on the trailer and brought them back. We were a little nervous about bringing them back with duties and all that other shit.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

Did you have to pay anything?

SPEAKER_00 11:03

No, the guy was real cool about it though. So the border a border patrol guy.

SPEAKER_01 11:09

Yeah, I did not where's the other yeah, Windsor? I've been through there a hundred times. Um speaking of them fucking Canadians. Okay. In 1904, we had a fierce dispute over which to which country made the better fishing shanties. So to settle it, they took the fishing shanties, put them out on the St. Clair River, and they waited for the wind to blow. Whose ever blew the furthest without falling apart are the winners.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Seems logical.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

How do you judge a shanty now? And if I pop that up in two minutes, have a fire cooking, I'm satisfied. Block the wind.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

Right.

SPEAKER_01 11:55

You ice fish?

SPEAKER_00 11:56

No. I stay off the ice.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

Not a big fan. Me neither. Go out there, freeze your fucking ass off. Yeah. But at least the name's on the side of the shanty, so you can always find your home. What? Jumping gears here. Are you done with your stuff? I like that one. Singin' sand. Yeah. We're not wheezing bread. Yep. Um here in Michigan, we're known for being a state of four seasons. Correct. Something to do every season, which is a good thing about the state. We're also known as being the number one state with the most credit issues because everybody buys shit for every season.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

I think that's false, but go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Oh no. So with that being said, this is all totally opinion-based, and I'm gonna listen to you without fighting unless I think you're wrong. Biggest seasonal waste of money. Ooh. Campers, side by sides, snowmobiles, a fucking boat, or motorcycle. What would you say is the biggest waste?

SPEAKER_00 13:09

Well, we can take motorcycle right off the equation.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

I agree.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

I'm gonna take camper off the equation because we use ours a lot.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

And we own the campground here, so um. Snowmobiles are the most difficult to get your funds versus money ratio ratio set up because we don't have the winners like we used to, and the only way to go snowmobiling really is to go pretty far up in the UP.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

Right.

SPEAKER_00 13:48

And so that's a day to get there, a day to get home. So now you're taking more time off work.

SPEAKER_01 13:57

You're uh two hundred dollars anyways in fuel, dragging the fucker up there and coming back. Oh minimum. At least, yep.

SPEAKER_00 14:04

But the amount of fun you have on it while you're using it is get you some smiles. You get a lot of smiles for the miles, yes. So I don't want to say that that's the biggest waste. Um side by side, that's always fun when we do go. Um what was the other things you said there?

SPEAKER_01 14:24

Fucking boats.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

Boat that that I I was saving that one for last.

SPEAKER_01 14:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

That is uh that is the biggest waste of money, I believe. I believe it is seasonal-wise.

SPEAKER_01 14:35

If you own a cottage, a trailer, anything on a lake, sure. A hundred percent. But if I got tow that fucker to a fucking lake, and my options for getting out of the boat consist of a fucking sandbar and everybody else's piss. Yeah. Or go up, anchor someplace and dig deep water so you can get out and hope that they don't bitch at you. Right. I I just I don't see the in the the fun in just sitting in a fucking boat all day.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

And if you are going anywhere where you have to rely on getting gas at one of the arenas or whatever, hang on there. You think these gas prices are bad at the pump. Whew, yeah. That that'll rock your socks right there.

SPEAKER_01 15:24

I I just don't see I can I can whittle away, justify every other one of them.

SPEAKER_00 15:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

Except for a boat.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

I'm I'm with you. I the boat is it and also I don't enjoy it. The time on a boat I don't enjoy as much as I enjoy the time with the other toys.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

You go out there to oh fuck. We used to go there quite a bit. I lost uh the name of it.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

Over in Ohio, uh Oh, um Putin Bay.

SPEAKER_01 16:01

Put and Bay. Yeah. You hit that on the right weekend, and you're a single man with a hard deck and a cooler full of beer.

SPEAKER_00 16:07

And a pocket full of Agras.

SPEAKER_01 16:08

Yep, I'll buy a boat.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

You could also just take the ferry and save your money on the boat.

SPEAKER_01 16:16

That's true, and then just ride on her boat.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Yeah. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

Hey, have your boyfriend drive us around for Yeah. Yeah, I just don't the boats uh whatever. You like 'em, you like 'em. I guess I just don't like 'em.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

I'm not. I'm not into them.

SPEAKER_01 16:33

No. Um, I've turned into less of a water person through the years too, anyways. Uh-huh. Well, I mean, sit in a fucking blow-up tube and get dragged around.

SPEAKER_00 16:45

Yeah. But it's always good to have a buddy that's got a boat.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

Well, it is. It is. 'Cause yeah, you might need that, Dan. I haven't heard from him. I hope the the patch job worked.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

Yeah. If it didn't.

SPEAKER_00 17:01

He might be swimming.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

Well, might have to get the paddle boat out and hit the islands in the area.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

What was that? Uh Gilligan's Island? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

I saw a thing on Facebook the other day. Out of all the cartoons that you've watched, what could you see yourself eating that they ate as a meal? First comment was Daphne's ass from Scooby Doodle. Hell yeah. And it's on a kid page. Come on, dude. Right. Share it somewhere else and make your comment, but I'm not gonna call I'm not gonna tell him he's wrong. No.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

Um while we still have the listeners and viewers' attention. Um we were doing some looking on um views, listens, this and that, and Brad's happy report in the last three weeks.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

Three weeks running.

SPEAKER_00 18:01

We had over 14,000 listens.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

Listen. And a listen is 50% or more of the time.

SPEAKER_00 18:09

And um we also are getting some traction on the website at over at perpetually wrong.com. Um gaining traction. Facebook is uh is starting to get some more followers. So if you're listening and you're not following, please pertinent that you go to the Facebook page, you find Bob and Brad perpetually wrong on the Facebook page, and then you click on the follow.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

213 website views this week, and we're only into Thursday. Yeah. That's 50 a day.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

Yeah. See, I think that's good. Yeah, I mean, we're getting there. So it would really help us out a lot if you'd if you'd like, subscribe, follow, all those things. If you could do that, it would help us out tremendously so we can continue to keep doing these episodes. This is a lot of fun for us. We hope it's a lot of fun for you. If it's not fun for you and you're offended, fuck off.

SPEAKER_01 19:12

Another, right. Then fucking follow and get out.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

Yeah, but make sure you follow first.

SPEAKER_01 19:19

Um the thing that I was really excited about was last week we're number 176 on Apple Podcasts uh improv.

SPEAKER_00 19:32

Improv category.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

And if you look up the improv category, there's over 30,000 people that are in that category. We were 176. There's 29,000 motherfuckers that wish they were us. So I that that kind of made me happy. And I think it was all because we got out into the public eye this weekend, and people said, Huh.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

Let's try these guys.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

Um thank you, Megan, too. You did a great job over there at Swannies.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

Yes, the food was phenomenal.

SPEAKER_01 20:00

And Big Mac said he's never had a burger better.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

I I'm right there with him. That's what I had.

SPEAKER_01 20:06

And uh just the right amount of juice.

SPEAKER_00 20:09

Yes, yes. They were the furthest thing from dried out. Yep. They did look good. Cooked properly, cooked perfection. Um, if you want to just go have a nice meal and you're near the St. John's area, please stop out at Swanny's Turk's Tavern. Food was awesome, service was awesome.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

Tell them Bob and Brad sent you. Yep. Ain't gonna get you a discount, but it'll help us down the road.

SPEAKER_00 20:34

Yep. So, no, that was cool. We had a good time there. Yeah. Um, she did a good job. Megan is way cooler than what you told me she was.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

Well, you know, so I don't like to build them up and pop your bubble.

SPEAKER_00 20:48

Well, nope, nope, she was awesome. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:50

Were you surprised she's actually friendly? I didn't know her, so she was super friendly.

SPEAKER_00 20:55

Yeah, she did great.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

Gave you a hug.

SPEAKER_00 20:57

Yeah, yeah. And if you're watching, there's a little motorcycle on the front of our t table there. That was the cake topper that she got us for our first ride. Yeah. And had it uh had it there for us to everybody, all of our guests to have some cake. That was a good cake, too. I'm not I don't usually eat cake. I everything there was actually really good.

SPEAKER_01 21:24

Everything we had.

SPEAKER_02 21:24

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 21:25

Um, one word of warning when you feel like a pig and you say, I'll take two grilled ham and cheeses, and the waitress asks you three times, are you sure? Just she's trying to tell you they're big and maybe just one. Right. And I should have. I I I got Brian to eat half of one of mine, and yeah, I was a lot. But um God, and that was one day too, Bob. One day from 9 a.m. to wrapped up with the diesel tap around midnight. Uh we didn't run into one dick.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

No, not not even one.

SPEAKER_01 21:59

No, after. The Sydney Tavern, and I kind of didn't sp see that car coming around a blind curve. He ended up stopping to let everybody else go. Yeah. Where the fuck are you gonna find that at?

SPEAKER_00 22:10

It was nice.

SPEAKER_01 22:11

It was. It was. Um, but yeah, we're gonna do that again. It's gonna be a good job. And the whole reason, too. Uh I I brought up the whole if you go over to Swannee's, you know, tell him Bob and Brad sent you, is I've been hearing on the radio. A reward type thing. Hey, if you direct five people to us, your next meal is free. Hey, I'll reward you directly in cash if you can sell my house. Uh, I hear stuff like that. I've been hearing and seeing it a lot more.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

Um, it used to be, hey, mention Bob and Brad and you'll get five percent off. Right. Okay, now that was worth mentioning. Yeah. But how who's keeping track of this shit? And if I sell your fucking truck, did that guy come in here and say, hey, Bob, Brad sent me. He wants me to tell you that you got to give him the five hundred dollars. Well, I say, fuck him, knock it down 250, we'll split his $500 seller fee. Yeah. And you'd say, ah, fuck it, okay. Yeah, fuck that guy. So I don't really understand the how how. I mean, you go to Speedway, you uh punch in your phone number, you get your points. But so I'm gonna I'm gonna start mentioning a lot of people.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

Yeah. You're gonna extend the olive branch.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

That you picked up an olivet.

SPEAKER_01 23:35

That's right. Well, when I was running from the Lions. Lions. Uh I will say, if you need a haircut and you're in a pinch. Great clips is not where you need to go.

SPEAKER_00 23:50

No.

SPEAKER_01 23:50

I've spent the last three days getting this trimmed.

SPEAKER_00 23:53

And it still looks like shit.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

Still looks like shit.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

I might have to just get some clippers and just buzz it all off and start new again.

SPEAKER_00 24:01

What I'm not sure of is why you didn't go see our buddy Brant.

SPEAKER_01 24:05

Because I called and they couldn't get me in that day.

SPEAKER_00 24:08

He said he would come to your house.

SPEAKER_01 24:10

I don't have time for that. Because when I get home, okay, you brought it up. We're talking about boats anyway, so I may as well bring up a boat anchor. Um something is not jiving with the wife lately. And if y'all have experienced this, feel free to write in anything and just let me know how you dealt with it. But that girl used to be Fuck yeah, let's go. We're having fun. As of lately, and I know it could be because of uh, you know, age catches up to us all.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:49

Uh they always use this term that I don't agree with in any way, shape, or form. Hormones. Suck it up, buttercup. But something's got her wires a little crisscrossed. Now, unless it's planned, it's really hard to get her to jump on board.

SPEAKER_02 25:07

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

So if I just showed up at home and all of a sudden she gets home from work and she hears clippers going, and me and Brant having a good time getting a haircut, she's gonna be like, Well, why didn't you tell me this was going on?

SPEAKER_00 25:24

So then communicate with her. I do. As a matter of fact, I'm glad you brought it up. Sounds like the problem is talking into the microphone right now.

SPEAKER_01 25:35

I'm glad you brought up communication, Bob. I really am. And I'm glad we don't script our shows like many do because we'd never get to the real inner feelings. So this Saturday, from whatever time in the morning to whatever time in the afternoon, we gotta go with my last remaining high school daughter, and we gotta go to this fundraiser thing where we it's a pedal bike race, and we tell them, yeah, no traffic's coming, get going. Woo! We ring a bell. Swing a orange banner. We all have orange shirts, so traffic can see us and people can see us, and they know we're the staff. Except for me, Bob. That's because you don't have to go. Yeah. I was supposed to go. I told her I'd go. And I said, make sure you tell them I need an XL shirt. And she said, I will. And I said, Well, text her now. And she says, I will. Last night we got up to the school, we had to pick up the bells, had to pick up the shirts, had to pick up the flags. Wow! I picked everything up, had her name on it, and I post it. It said Trisha and Lexi. Numberhead. Two larges. I looked, two t-shirts, two bells, two flags. And I went, oh, fuck, there goes my good blood pressure for the fucking week. Get out in the car and she says, Why are you kind of pissy? And I said, I don't know if I'm going Saturday. Why? I said, You never told her I was coming and I needed a shirt. Oh yeah, I forgot about it. Well, I don't stop at Speedway on the way home, grab a can of chew, and not get her a fucking buttercup. I don't stop at the store when we're out and say, hey, do you need anything? I she says, Brad, can you pay consumers? I don't say I'll pay them later. And you know what? The reason she tells me to pay them, because I do it right fucking now. I heard you, I know you need this, I'm gonna get it done. If she was in charge of that shit, our power would be out. We'd be the fucking Amish because she forgot about it. She didn't care enough that I wanted an orange shirt to match everybody. So communication, shove that up your ass, because there's plenty of communication in our household.

SPEAKER_00 27:55

Folks, I just want to interject here and let you know what you want, motherfucker. That if you've never seen or heard an adult temper tantrum, you just did. Because that is, by the book, exactly what the fuck we just had. And I don't even know half the shit you said because I quit listening. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 28:25

I appreciate you acting like you were listening. Oh, I was all in, buddy. I heard everything. That's more than I got from her last night. She just said, well, you know, I said, no, tell me the truth. But she wouldn't tell me the truth. The truth would have been, I don't care enough about you to take five seconds to send a text.

SPEAKER_00 28:43

This is the second phase of the adult temper tantrum. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_01 28:49

And you're not here to page three.

SPEAKER_02 28:51

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

I'll be there Saturday. I'll be there with bells on. As a matter of fact, I'm gonna have two goddamn cowbells, and I'm gonna be the most excited motherfucker out there, and there's gonna be 360 goddamn pedal bikers that say. Those guys in the third turn, I don't know who he was, but he really got us jazzed up.

SPEAKER_00 29:09

I uh I have a bright orange shirt. Do you? And I have a couple flags I'll send you home with tonight. That way you'll be blended. You'll be all in.

SPEAKER_01 29:21

And then I can tell her, ha! Look at that. I took care of myself. I don't need you.

SPEAKER_00 29:28

Yeah, see that? There he goes. He's gonna take all the credit for me taking care of him. You know, the the that's your problem, Brad. Nobody can deal with your bullshit because it's woe is me. Look at Brad. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 29:42

Can you imagine being the only motherfucker out there in a fucking black t-shirt? You're gonna look like you're somebody's special kid that they dropped off just so he could wave a flag. I wouldn't go. They could have at least got him an orange shirt, is what everybody's gonna say. Matter of fact, I'll bet by the time the first 32 bikes pass us, because you're not gonna come back from 32 and win. Yeah, I don't think so. I've never bike raced, maybe you can. So maybe 100, 101. He's probably gonna stop and he's gonna say, No, she's gonna stop. And she's gonna say, I know these are bigger than yours, but go ahead and try on my orange shirt there, special kid. If you ever need to feel like you're cared about, I'll text them next year and tell them you need a shirt.

unknown 30:27

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 30:28

Talk about feeling like a fucking dog.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

Oh, I'll tell you what, I'm glad we got these new chairs down here because I couldn't sit uncomfortably listening to your bullshit.

SPEAKER_01 30:41

Jesus Christ. Really? So nothing ever strings your strum a little off kilter. Just kind of makes you say, Kelly, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_00 30:51

Oh, all the time. Why don't I hear one? Just pick one. Because if I did that, you would pick on me the way I'm picking on you. Oh, no, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_01 31:01

You know what? Prior to last night, I would have. But now I know how it feels. I mean, I was walking out of there and all the other parents were looking at us saying, damn, she's got him trained. He came out, drove her up here after he fed her, no doubt. Probably cleaned up the kitchen. Then he brings her in here just so he can carry her stuff out. That girl is a lucky girl. Just saying.

SPEAKER_00 31:30

She is.

SPEAKER_01 31:31

She's a very lucky lady. And send some messages like that too, like, hey Brad, yeah, you're right. She is lucky. Then I then she'll see. Because sometimes seeing is believing. Correct. Yeah. Like, you know.

SPEAKER_00 31:44

I always wondered. Well, you you know, now that your gears have been all ground, you want to know what grinds the fuck out of my gears?

SPEAKER_01 31:54

I would love to know, because I gotta get some of this off of me.

SPEAKER_00 31:58

Okay, good. And people don't even think about this, I'm certain of it. But you go to the picture any public restroom you've gone to recently, and nine times out of ten, when you go to that public restroom, you are gonna open the door inward to the bathroom.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

Pushing on your way in.

SPEAKER_00 32:26

Yes, pushing on your way in.

SPEAKER_01 32:27

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 32:28

And then you're gonna go to the bathroom, and if you're gotta take a shit, then you're sitting there for a little bit. Some people. Some people it falls right out of their asshole. But I I spent a little time sitting there. And uh so I got I was shitting there thinking, and uh, you know, I bet you there's probably 30, somewhere between 30 to 50% of the people that go to the public restrooms, or any restrooms for that matter, they do their business and they do not wash their hands, which I don't think is cool.

SPEAKER_01 33:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 33:18

You just went and take it, took a shit, you grabbed all that toilet paper, went knuckle deep up your asshole. Chances are you might have blew through the toilet paper a little bit, because if you're in a public place, it's fucking prison ply, it's shit toilet paper. And then you walk out of the fucking bathroom, no hands wash. You grab a hold of that handle, you pull it to go out of the bathroom.

SPEAKER_01 33:45

You just grab somebody else's feces.

SPEAKER_00 33:47

Well, no, that person that went knuckle deep in their asshole, they just put their bacteria and feces and everything else all over the fucking handle. So I get done, I go like a fucking responsible human being, wash up real good, and these other motherfuckers, that's another thing, the ones that some of the ones that do wash, they just fuck they don't use soap, they just turn the water on, run their hand under it real quick, dry it off, and they go. Well, you didn't get rid of the fucking shit off your fingers.

SPEAKER_01 34:14

To be fair, I always try to wash my hands when I can.

SPEAKER_00 34:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:19

But those automatic Sometimes they're a piece of shit. Sometimes I just have it at fit and I just wet it.

SPEAKER_00 34:25

But there's a lot of people that don't even use soap. They just wet their hands, dry them off the software. You always use soap absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 34:31

Do you really? Yes. Sometimes I can't work the soap.

SPEAKER_00 34:35

All these people fucking that go in there, oh, I'm just gonna get water on it. You just spread the shit further down your finger.

SPEAKER_01 34:42

Up to your elbow.

SPEAKER_00 34:44

Yeah. And then you grab the handle. So then I come, get out of the bathroom, wash up real good with soap, nice and clean, dry my hands off. I don't like to use the air dryers if I don't have to. I like paper because I want them wood and dry. I like paper. And also, I like to have the paper because then I can grab the door handle with the fucking paper, pull it open, kick my foot behind it, toss it in the trash, it should be right there by the door, and out I go. Should be, but not always. Not always. That's irresponsible. Then you gotta fucking basketball it. So I think that all public restroom doors should be open to the outside of the bathroom. That way, if you do get the sick motherfuckers that don't wash up, you can shoulder it and kick it with your foot, you can push your shoulder in it, you can put your elbow against it. Because I don't want my clean hands touching your fucking shit that you put on the That's fair.

SPEAKER_01 35:46

That's fair, but handicapped bathrooms tend to open outside. Have you noticed that? The door is backwards on the Is it? Yeah. Umicap stall the other day at a rest area. Yeah. Noticed it. Heard the familiar sound of wheels coming in. So when I got up, I acted like I had some leg problem. I limped out. Sorry, boss. But why do they open different for them? Because well, because if they're in a chair, and the door sends open, it gives them more room to get in. Spin around.

SPEAKER_00 36:27

Yeah. Yeah. Will a chair fit in one of them stalls? Quite a few of the handicapped ones, yeah. They're they've got some room in them.

SPEAKER_01 36:34

Those handicapped buttons.

SPEAKER_00 36:39

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:40

Yeah, you don't have to step up to go into them.

SPEAKER_01 36:42

Right.

SPEAKER_00 36:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:43

Oh yeah. Yeah. If you ever get a Portageon.

SPEAKER_00 36:47

Well, we had one here for the party. It was a handicapped one. I never used it.

SPEAKER_01 36:52

I was too busy just pissing outside. Um yeah, so I I can see what you're saying. Um, COVID era, they put all them stupid fucking grab hooks and stuff so you can do it with your foot.

SPEAKER_00 37:02

Right.

SPEAKER_01 37:04

I don't think it's a big thing. Make it swing the other way. Yeah. Then it's just a bump.

SPEAKER_00 37:07

If you get dirty hands or bacteria opening the door, you you should go in and do your business and wash up and then the pusher side is clean. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:18

By all rights. Right.

SPEAKER_00 37:20

Should be, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:21

Oh. Unless you had some snot-nosed kid that fuck has stuck his hand down his diaper and then smeared it all over the door.

SPEAKER_01 37:27

Some of them too. You open kick open that stall door ready to do business. Yeah. What in God's name did you do in here?

SPEAKER_00 37:36

You know, I'm glad you brought that up because I I went off the other day. Do they hover? I don't know. I mean I've never been that bad. I went in and took a crap the other day at work, and we have two two shitter stalls at work, and I have one toilet's higher, one's lower.

SPEAKER_01 37:55

I'm gonna interject real quick. Yeah. Who do you guys have like does the state have like housekeeping that comes there, or do you guys keep it clean?

SPEAKER_00 38:00

Some no, some garages have um janitorial. Janit a guy that comes twice a week.

SPEAKER_01 38:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:07

Um so I go in, go to do my business, open the stall door, look down. I always look down at the toilet seat, and there was a streak of shit on the fucking cheek part of the toilet seat.

SPEAKER_01 38:26

No can do.

SPEAKER_00 38:27

No. I'm like, how do you one if you go and sit down and shit, how do you rub your asshole across the fucking cheek part?

SPEAKER_01 38:39

You know how many times? It was disgusting. I've been sitting in a bathroom playing with my phone, getting ready to shit. Uh-huh. And that thought comes to my head. Like, I'll kind of fidget back a little bit, feel things out, and it's like, okay, when I'm sitting here, my asshole is pointing straight down. Should be. Maybe some people, you know, because some people have higher belly buttons and lower belly buttons. Maybe they got a further back butthole. That's the only thing that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 39:09

I don't know. Or are they leaning forward? But this was on the side part of the toilet seat, like like where your the back of your hamstring would be sitting.

SPEAKER_01 39:18

That's disgusting.

SPEAKER_00 39:19

Yeah. Somebody ran their dirty asshole right across that motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 39:22

I was pissed and where's the toilet paper at in relation to that? Because is it like a lean?

SPEAKER_00 39:27

No, it's a retrade over.

SPEAKER_01 39:29

So it's not you can't get it on there from leaning.

SPEAKER_00 39:31

Yeah. What it probably was? Was one of them fucking sitting wipers.

SPEAKER_01 39:38

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:38

And they probably did their dragged the paper across it and then went like this and shot their asshole across and probably smeared it all over the fucking seat. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 39:50

I don't either. No. That's fucked up. Uh speaking of disgusting things, uh I think Sarah Fowler's secretly in love with me.

SPEAKER_00 40:03

Oh yeah?

SPEAKER_01 40:04

She uh saved that picture that uh Ryan took of my backside and she shows everybody. Huh. And back when people were younger, they always said the one that's picking on you is the one that so Ryan might want to hug her a little tighter tonight. Yeah, it's uh kind of uh I don't mind, but it's kind of like what do I gotta do to delete that off your phone? Because it is not a good looking picture. I'm standing there and I don't know what kind of angle Ryan had, but my balls look like goddamn 40-year-old goat.

SPEAKER_00 40:45

It's disgusting. Damn near stepping on them.

SPEAKER_01 40:48

It's disgusting, dude. It is disgusting. So, Sarah, send that to me. I'll run her through the old AI processor and send it back.

SPEAKER_00 40:56

Put a little bleach job on your butthole.

SPEAKER_01 40:59

That's another fucked up thing. People pay a lot of money for that. Now they're getting into tattooing their butthole, so they don't need to bleach it.

SPEAKER_02 41:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:06

Well, are they brown? Speaking of which, I just got a text from Ryan. That's weird. Are we live? Huh. I think we were. Speaking of that.

SPEAKER_00 41:16

But did I push here?

SPEAKER_01 41:18

Uh is there it I don't want to get pedophilia ish here, but if you look at a baby's butthole, like when you're wiping their butt from peeing or pooping, yeah. Are they white like the rest of their skin and then through the years from all the poop, is that what turns them brown or stains them. Is that what it is? I think so. So that's what the bleaching does.

SPEAKER_00 41:41

Yeah. It takes away the stains. Like when you bleach a white shirt.

SPEAKER_01 41:44

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 41:45

You bleach a butthole? Huh.

SPEAKER_01 41:48

Have you ever done that?

SPEAKER_00 41:51

You have inadvertently. Inadvertently.

SPEAKER_01 41:53

Yeah. There I was with a bottle of bleach and it just hit my ass.

SPEAKER_00 41:56

No, no. When I was working for the beer company delivering to the party store. When you gotta go, you gotta go, right? Yeah, yeah. Like we're we're all adults here. Um I went to go to the bathroom, and I'm in this back of this party store, and I'm I'm going to the bathroom and I start looking around looking for the toilet paper. And there was uh none. Zero.

SPEAKER_01 42:27

So what do you do?

SPEAKER_00 42:28

Not even like a wrap on a roll. Like there was no rolls. There was nothing.

SPEAKER_01 42:33

Rip a sleeve off.

SPEAKER_00 42:34

And I'm looking around this bathroom like, what the fuck? Like they gotta have it in like a cupboard or something. No, nothing. Zero. And I'm like, oh fuck. I I I got a wipe. I mean, I'm not gonna just What did you do? Well, you know them uh Lysol bleach wipes?

SPEAKER_01 42:56

Ooh.

SPEAKER_00 42:57

They had a bottle of lemon-flavored Lysol bleach wipes in the bathroom. And I says, Well, that's gotta be alright. Like, it'll even be clean and fresh when I'm done. Ripped one off, folded her up, started wiping. Did it burn? It did not burn, but it tingled. And uh so I I wiped up, you know, I used however many I needed to use to make sure it was good and clean, and and uh got done, pulled my drawers up, went back doing my job, and I'm gonna tell you right now, I felt fresh. Did it feel good? Oh my god, it felt amazing.

SPEAKER_01 43:40

A lot of people swear by like the dude wipes and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 43:42

Yeah, I used to use those, yep. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 43:44

You don't no more?

SPEAKER_00 43:45

Uh no, not I mean so once in a while I'll get some, but um Are they worth using? Yeah, they're nice. But that's like kindergartner shit compared to the bleach wipes.

SPEAKER_01 43:56

Would you do the bleach wipes again?

SPEAKER_00 43:58

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:58

Really?

SPEAKER_00 43:59

Yeah, yeah. You got a bottle of them here? I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 44:02

Have her maybe have her buy some when you go grocery shop and sign poop here next week.

SPEAKER_00 44:06

Um it was like it it was like I had some pep in my step. I was tingly, I was felt fresh. I mean, I I felt oh man, I felt good. Was it questionable though? Kind of like Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:18

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 44:19

Yeah, I'm like, I I don't think this can hurt me. I said, and that was my rationale is well, people bleach their bubbles, so how's this any different?

SPEAKER_01 44:29

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 44:30

It's just lemon. But I mean you're in a spot like that.

SPEAKER_01 44:32

What are you gonna do? I will not have a choice. I will not pull up my drawers unless I can wipe.

SPEAKER_00 44:38

No, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_01 44:40

No.

SPEAKER_00 44:41

So it was it was it was kind of neat.

unknown 44:45

Huh.

SPEAKER_01 44:46

I'm gonna have to try that. Clorox, lemon scented?

SPEAKER_00 44:49

Lemon flavored, yeah. They say scented, but they're lemon flavored. Did you read the bottle or anything? Were you just like I saw what it was, I saw the lemons on it, and I said, Alright, here we go. Oh Bob, you smell fresh today. Thank you. Oh fuck. That would be interesting. So then I was I was singing that song, Ain't Nobody Dope as me. Um just so fresh and so fresh and so clean. We were just in a happy fucking moment. Oh my god, it made my day. Oh I was I mean, I was I was on it.

SPEAKER_01 45:31

Oh yeah. Uh better than the shower curtain, I guess. You know. But that's something too. Is I don't care if it's you having a party, uh, Mitch and Julie having a party, fucking mustache and his wife having a party over here. Um if we go to your house, because you're hosting the party, yeah, it's neat to have food and snacks. It's neat to have some bourbon that you ain't ever had before. That's all cool. But make sure that the bathroom has a fresh roll and a fresh one available where we can see it. Don't make me feel like a fucking crackhead. No.

SPEAKER_00 46:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:14

No, not at all.

SPEAKER_00 46:17

This is hospitality 101 brought to you by Bob and Brad.

SPEAKER_01 46:21

It is. You know, I remember back in the day, uh, because people are nosy when they go in your bathroom. It can be.

SPEAKER_00 46:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:27

So I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_00 46:27

Yeah, they're in there looking in the medicine cabinet for all the fucking Vikadins.

SPEAKER_01 46:30

Oh, I bought the, you know, you got Trojan Magnums and you got to step above them. Yeah. I bought a box of them, big. Oh, I thought so. Yep. And I'd always put them in there. So when people were snooping, they'd be like, I think that's how I got half my girlfriend. Fuck, Brad.

SPEAKER_00 46:44

Brad's got a hog between his legs. Yeah. Then when they go to find out, they're thoroughly disappointed.

SPEAKER_01 46:54

Do I still got to wait? Yeah, I'll give it a minute.

SPEAKER_00 46:57

Yeah. Yeah, it's it's only a quarter of the way up. It's your fault. I told you I'm a grower, not a shower, lady.

SPEAKER_01 47:04

Oh. I am a grower, not a shower.

SPEAKER_00 47:06

Oh, absolutely. You two?

SPEAKER_01 47:07

Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't want to be a shower.

SPEAKER_00 47:10

No, because they see they get the wild factor and then that's it. Right. They look at mine, they're like, that's so cute. It looks just like a penis, only smaller. And then when that fucker gets hard, they're like, that's a fucking baby arm.

SPEAKER_01 47:23

Back off.

SPEAKER_00 47:25

Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 47:26

Yeah, I'd much rather have a show to present.

SPEAKER_00 47:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:29

Although, you know, God is a great guy, but he fucked up. When he designed us, he should have designed them like a fucking tele uh periscope.

SPEAKER_00 47:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:41

So it just a little nubbin and it goes straight out. Not fall down. Nope. Just swing off straight outside. Yes. Like fucking Pinocchio's nose.

SPEAKER_00 47:51

He'd never be able to do the helicopter then.

SPEAKER_01 47:53

Oh, this is true. This is true. Yeah. Huh. See that? There are drawbacks. Yes. So he was looking at it more from the entertainment perspective. Yeah, and then we're watching a show on around the God thing here. And it's about these uh oh, they say there's like 30,000 uh fuck. God, I wish sometimes Trish was here to remind me of what I'm saying wrong. Um What do they call those? Where it's a group of fucking weirdos, they get together and they live on a cult. They say there's over 30,000 cults in in America alone. Well, I believe that. So we're watching this culty show, and this guy got his ass chewed out, him and his wife, because they were having sex for fun, not to create life. So my question to you is do you think there's believers out there so hard that the only time they will have sex is if they can have a baby or creating a baby?

SPEAKER_00 48:57

Oh, I'm sure there is, and it's probably typically in that cult.

SPEAKER_01 49:01

You think it's more culty?

SPEAKER_00 49:02

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:04

Yeah, because I mean, fuck, then by the time she's what, 47, 48, you're never gonna have sex again because there's or you go get snipped and you tell her I want more kids, and you just keep fucking her hooking.

SPEAKER_00 49:18

And let her know that, well, it just didn't work. It wasn't in God's plan.

SPEAKER_01 49:21

Something's wrong with you.

SPEAKER_00 49:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:23

Um, we got a lot of feedback on her marital advice last week.

SPEAKER_00 49:27

One particular fella called us geniuses.

SPEAKER_01 49:33

He certainly did, and he is not wrong.

SPEAKER_00 49:37

No.

SPEAKER_01 49:37

Oh, yeah. I got a lot of feedback on that. Uh we're gonna have to come together, pick our put, put our brains together, and come up with some more advisable advice for these kids in the future programs.

SPEAKER_00 49:51

Easy as pie.

SPEAKER_01 49:52

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 49:53

Hair pie.

SPEAKER_01 49:54

Is Tim married?

SPEAKER_00 49:56

Yep. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 49:57

Happily?

SPEAKER_00 49:58

Yeah, has been for a long time. He might not be after he takes our advice.

SPEAKER_01 50:07

Could be. Uh you got a note in our notes about uh something else that I think uh grinds your gears a bit. Group chats amongst sports parents. Yes. Can you delve into that just a little bit?

SPEAKER_00 50:26

So they got, you know, you got the game changers and the team reach and whatever else it is. I am not a part of any of them. Kelly handles that, and I think that's about it.

SPEAKER_01 50:40

Which is probably good.

SPEAKER_00 50:42

Yeah. Something will get put out by the coaches, and it's got all the details that you need in it. If you read it. Correct. There's there shouldn't be any unanswered questions there. And then you get the fucking jack-off parent that says, Well, what about this? Or what about that? In the description, it says exactly what you needed to know, and if you would have read it, your question was answered before it would become a question. And then it just and it spitballs because then one other dumbass parent will be like, follow the footsteps of the first dumbass and then ask another stupid fucking question. None of it has any relevance to anything that you need to know. And then it's like all you gotta do is just swipe down, read, and know. Oh, yep, perfect. They got they already covered that.

SPEAKER_01 51:49

It's all right there. Yeah, I understand that completely.

SPEAKER_00 51:52

Like, for example, uh Saturday's game will be is at 1230, be there at 1145. We're wearing the white jerseys. Hold on, let me guess. This is the address to the field.

SPEAKER_01 52:10

Um, so should we be there before 1230? Did you read? No, they don't.

SPEAKER_00 52:17

They life has become scan scanners. Are we wearing the home jerseys or away jerseys? Did you read it's the fucking white jersey?

SPEAKER_01 52:25

It's right there.

SPEAKER_00 52:27

Well, what field are they on? Oh, the address was right there. Field two. I mean done. Everything was in there. You don't have to put a question out there to respond to feel involved. Oh shoot.

SPEAKER_01 52:46

Billy's got piano practice until 11:30. Can we be there at 1155?

SPEAKER_00 52:52

No. No. 1145.

SPEAKER_01 52:54

The schedule is out. You knew it was this Saturday.

SPEAKER_00 52:57

Yeah. If he if Billy wants to continue to be a penis, he don't need to be on the team.

SPEAKER_01 53:05

Yeah. I always wish I learned how to play the piano, but I didn't then, but now I do.

SPEAKER_00 53:11

No. It's actually a pretty cool talent.

SPEAKER_01 53:14

I think so.

SPEAKER_00 53:15

Or skill or whatever you want to do.

SPEAKER_01 53:16

You don't walk into a goddamn bar or something.

SPEAKER_00 53:18

Form of art.

SPEAKER_01 53:19

Sit down and hit the old ivories.

SPEAKER_00 53:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:23

Yeah. I think it'd be kind of neat. Do you think musical people pull in more pussy than us normal folk?

SPEAKER_00 53:32

Yes. You think so?

SPEAKER_01 53:34

I do. Well, what kind of music is it that the the uh goth people listen to?

SPEAKER_00 53:41

Grunge?

SPEAKER_01 53:42

Is that what it is? I think. I don't know. Figure it out. I'll sign us up for a couple music lessons at Marshall Music. Something about them gothy ones, the good looking ones.

SPEAKER_00 53:55

Really turns your crank.

SPEAKER_01 53:57

It really does. Yeah. And I wonder, too, the thumb, are they is, you know, I I hope I never I'm gonna die before Trish, I hope, so I'll probably never experience it. But the problem is with chicks like that, when you and you know the chick, you see one and it's just like, holy fuck, I bet she'd tear me up.

SPEAKER_00 54:24

Oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:25

I don't want to ever face that and have the disappointment of, God, I had to see if she was breathing.

SPEAKER_00 54:31

She was a limp noodle. Yes. Yeah, you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:34

And I think that's the case with a lot of uh, you know, you see all these reels. Oh, I'm a bad bitch. I bet you're not.

SPEAKER_00 54:42

Why don't you take your stinky pussy and get on down the road? Okay, grab a lemon-sented chlorox swipe. Come see me. Yeah, yeah. In in my realization, because I don't want to say experience, but in my realization, I feel like, and I and I don't, I guess I don't know for sure, but there's a lot of these chicks that do that, and they're they're like, I'm I'm all that, you can't, you know, you can't handle me, blah, blah, blah. The ones that talk the biggest game rarely see the playing field.

SPEAKER_01 55:21

There you go. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 55:23

And they're only bragging about that because they want to make you think that they can when really they probably can't.

SPEAKER_01 55:30

Pull in some attention.

SPEAKER_00 55:32

Yeah. Now, I think it's the quiet ones you gotta watch out for.

SPEAKER_01 55:37

That's what I believe there is a line there.

SPEAKER_00 55:39

I think them quiet ones that just they know what they got and they know how good they are at what they do. I think that that that's yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:48

I I think, yep. There is the too shy and quiet where damn, but you've got the ones that are very well reserved.

SPEAKER_00 55:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:56

And they probably Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 56:00

Could probably suck start your Harley out there.

SPEAKER_01 56:02

But they could. And it makes you, uh, you never know. Um, but back, I got I got a sidetracked, and I apologize, but back to do you ever just want like Kelly text back, Mary Ann, you stupid twat. It says all the information right there.

SPEAKER_00 56:23

Well, that's why I'm not allowed on the because you're not the only parent thinking that. No, I'm I'm there's a lot of us that are.

SPEAKER_01 56:31

And that brings me into our next thing is accountability. There is none anymore. Back in the day.

SPEAKER_00 56:40

No.

SPEAKER_01 56:41

Um gotta remember when I was first getting into construction, so I was just learning how to do everything, and I accidentally cut a fucking stack of boards wrong.

SPEAKER_00 56:51

Measure twice, cut once.

SPEAKER_01 56:52

Yeah. And uh comes a what the fuck, dude? And uh I said, uh fuck, I fucked up. I'm sorry. Well, then everything was okay. Right. You owned it. Yeah. Nowadays, my excuse would be, well, I didn't get much sleep last night, and my mom said that I might have a mental issue, and I'm gonna need to have tomorrow off so I can heal my mentalness. No.

SPEAKER_00 57:18

Or they'll say, Well, John told me they needed to be 12 and 7 eights.

SPEAKER_01 57:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 57:24

When they really were supposed to be 13 and a quarter.

SPEAKER_01 57:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:28

And now you're gonna blame it on somebody else for what you push it off. Didn't listen.

SPEAKER_01 57:36

And people need to have that, and I think it needs to start in groups like Team Reach and stuff. Yeah. Start calling these people out. Hey, you know what, Doreen? Read the fucking message twice again.

SPEAKER_00 57:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:48

And then ask us again if you still have questions.

SPEAKER_00 57:51

As soon as you get the message and you read it, and that first question pops into your head, read it again. Still reread it. It's probably in there. Just about guarantee it's in there. Yep. So I I'm never allowed to be on those because I would probably get kicked off the first day of being on it.

SPEAKER_01 58:09

I've been wanting on and I finally got on last year.

SPEAKER_00 58:12

Oh, I bet you regretted that.

SPEAKER_01 58:13

Still on this year. Um a little bit, yeah. Yeah. But at the same time, um I like to know what's going on. Uh we talked about our uh communication issue earlier. Well, at least now I know what's going on. Um, so it's a blessing and a curse. Uh but yeah, I they do. They need to reread it.

SPEAKER_00 58:36

And like there's talks about it, and there's Facebook posts and memes about it. And it's like it's not just what I'm seeing, it's not just what you're seeing. No, it's what the whole world sees because there's fucking idiots.

SPEAKER_01 58:50

It doesn't matter where you're from. Yeah, there's an idiot there.

SPEAKER_00 58:52

Yeah. Or multiple.

SPEAKER_01 58:54

And they're getting worse.

SPEAKER_00 58:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:56

Way worse. Uh there people just, I don't know. I don't know what it is. Because people aren't stupid. I mean, you got some that are. Uh and I think we've talked about it before. I think it's all just everybody's in such a fucking hurry.

SPEAKER_00 59:14

But that doesn't excuse the fact that the fucking information's right there and you could have read it.

SPEAKER_01 59:19

Right.

SPEAKER_00 59:20

You chose not to read it. You just saw there was a message, so you wanted to hurry up and ask your question without reading it.

SPEAKER_01 59:25

If I was the coach next week, I'm going to say game's Tuesday at 7.30, East Ballfield wearing the red jerseys. Oh, Marcy, I've seen you had some questions last week. Again, the game is Tuesday at 7 Thursday at 7.30. We're wearing the red jerseys.

SPEAKER_00 59:43

Yeah. Any more questions? Eastfield.

SPEAKER_01 59:45

Yes. I would which way is East? Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:48

Norman eats soggy waffles, bitch. Figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 59:50

Never eat stinky women. Yeah, I would. I would. I would reiterate it.

SPEAKER_00 59:57

Right.

SPEAKER_01 59:57

You know, just like, and I'd call her out.

SPEAKER_00 59:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:00

Yeah. Yeah. If you weren't behind the fucking bar guzzling cock for 10 bucks, you'd fucking know how to read.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:06

Yeah, make her realize she was in the wrong for not reading.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:09

That's what you gotta do.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:10

Yeah. That's a little passive aggressive.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:12

It is. I like it. I like it too. You don't have to be a dick, but you can get it across.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:18

Yeah. Or I like to just choose the other road and just fucking say, hey, dumbfuck, it's in the message. And then I'll get kicked out.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:27

Yeah. And then they look at you like you're rude. Right. No, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:30

Well, it was rude because you wasted everybody's time to have to stop and look at their phone for another notification that you couldn't comprehend the fucking man in it.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:38

Are 50 people on there?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:40

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:40

Forty-five of them had the same thought as you.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:43

You said it. Now you got 50 fucking people that think you're a dick.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:47

And they will see you separately and be like, thank God you said something. Yeah, but they'll they'll they'll talk shit about you. After you downed me? Fuck you.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:57

Oh yeah. The old fucking sports chats.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:04

Why isn't my kid playing?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:05

Because he sucks.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:06

Because he sucks.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:07

He don't put no attitude and effort into it. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:10

Don't even tie his fucking shoes. Look at him.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:12

Shows up half dressed for the fucking event.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:15

Left with ball glove at home.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:18

Shows up without his hat. Well, you're the you're the motherfucker that wants to play this game, right? Gather your shoes. You need to make sure you get your shit ready. You're you are a almost a teenager.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:32

Show some responsibility.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:34

Absolutely. Speaking of responsibility, we're on summer break now. I get a call from Lucas. He says, hey, I'm uh and we're probably in the same situation where most people in America are now, where you have way more cardboard than you know how to get rid of.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:58

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:59

And uh he says, I just want to let you know, I'm uh cutting up the cardboard and consolidating it so you can uh make it easier for you to get rid of when you gotta throw it out. Oh, I appreciate that. No, I didn't nothing was ever said to him. That's pretty good. I thought, you know what? I said, I really appreciate you doing that. That was nice.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:26

I'd like to know the background on that. Was he going down there to get a get a wrench to fix something? He tripped over a box and said, Jesus Christ, if I trip over one more goddamn box.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:36

I don't know the information there. So then we live on dirt road. Shit gets kicked up all over the place. You can't you can't tame it. You understand?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:50

No, you can't.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:52

So as vehicles come in and out of the garage, they drop dust and dirt and all that, so it builds up in the garage.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:58

Isn't it amazing how much?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:00

Holy shit. Yeah, half the fucking road is in my garage. Isn't that crazy? And uh so he calls me back a little bit later. He says, Dad, um, I got this pretty sweet floor sweeper. It's got the little wheels, the little uh bristle spinnies. Oh, you hooked to it. No, no, no, it's you push it and it's got a uh belt, and so what it does is it pulls all the dirt into the center and then it sucks it up into the canister as you push it. It's got a bunch of brooms on it. He says, Hey, um the the sweeper, I was gonna use that to sweep up the floor. He says, but I know that it um it makes dust. I mean anytime you're dealing with dust, even if you're push brooming it, you're still getting dust everywhere. He says, but your motorcycle's in here, and I didn't want to get it covered in dust, but I wanted to sweep the floor up. And I says, Well, it needs to be washed anyway, because we were it was dusty when we were out last week and all that. So I said, Don't worry about it. I said, I need to wash it anyway. I said, you can go ahead and use it, no problem. I said, but thank you for being heads up enough and thinking about that before you just did it, and then if I didn't want that done, then it would have been a problem. And I'd have thrown an adult temper tantrum like you did earlier.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:28

When you got home, did you yell at him anyways? Just what the hell?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:31

I saw this dust on the bike. No, I didn't. I called you. I thought about it. But you know that I just thought, you know what? I'm a little hard on him.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:40

You're really hard.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:42

In keeping him accountable for his actions.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:44

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:45

And if you're asking something, did you think about the outcome of what you're asking to do? And he used all those life skills that I have implemented into him and used them. And I, you know, I thought that was really big of him to do all that.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:02

And what's he gonna do tomorrow? No idea. Tell him not to burn up all his summer work in one day. You've got a calendar, Lucas. You got a lot of days come. Set the bar low.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:13

There's no shortage of work to get done.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:17

Now, like, are you comfortable like with him being home by himself? Hey, go weed whack around this and that. Would you or you gotta wait another year or two?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:29

No, he's he ran it last year and did a real good job with it. So I I I think he'd be fine with it, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:34

It's hard to put ages on shit like that. Because some kids can do it at nine. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:40

You can't put an age on that kind of stuff. It you need to their their abilities and their mental capacity to be able to do those things without fucking something up.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:52

You know, it's yeah, it's kind of funny because yeah, you got your kid fucking, oh, clean this, I'll clean that. My kid vacuums till the vacuum is full, then puts the vacuum away and says, I can get the rest later. Don't even empty the No, let me show you how this fucking works.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:09

And when you empty it, you can go right back at it. Right. It's it's like a reset button. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:14

It ain't a car, you ain't out of gas. Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:17

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:18

Fuck. Then the youngest grandkid, she's back in the goddamn hospital again. Uh they think they know what it is now. I'm not gonna tell you because I can't pronounce it, but it's something to do with uh shit not working right. Boy, that was a good explanation, wasn't it? Wow. Huh. Yeah. So hopefully they get that shit figured out soon. Um it's amazing when you look at things nowadays. We're so far advanced than what they were when they came here, you know, medical-wise. Yeah, absolutely. But it still blows my mind that over the course of two fucking days you can't figure out shit. You know, I'm not a doctor, so I don't know how hard all this shit is.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:03

Right. But there's a waiting period for tests and that they do which is crazy. And all that stuff. So you know, put in some OT.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:11

Hire another one.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:13

Right. You know, you know, really. But sometimes it takes time to get the results from the test.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:18

Like it you Oh, like you gotta let the blood sit there for yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:21

You gotta do so many different things, it's gotta have X amount of hours to what we gotta do? What?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:27

Now that we're into this, yeah, we gotta get Dexter on the show.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:30

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:31

Because I got a lot of questions about shit like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:34

And he should have the answers.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:35

I think he could have. And if he doesn't, he's got a phone, he knows friends. Yeah. Yeah, but we should, because I got I got like a lot of questions like that. Like uh, when's the last time you gave blood? Been a while? Yeah. Oh fuck. They they stick it in there, and all these vials that they have, it's like, why do you need that much?

SPEAKER_00 1:07:58

Because each one of them vials has different things inside of it to make the blood react so they can take their tests.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:06

Oh, so the vials have the shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:08

Yeah, there's stuff inside the vials. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:10

So I thought they were just like pulling a cord off you and then distributing it out?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:14

Yeah. No, each vial has the um has the shit in it to make it react to what they're doing. That's why they got the different color. Yeah. Lucas just went the other day and had six vials. Oh fuck. On Tuesday, yeah. Um because they're they're checking for some things with his he's got an enlarged lymph node. And uh so they're trying to um trying to narrow everything down, so they tested him for everything. They tested him for cat scratch fever.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:44

And I don't even really I've heard about it. I don't really know what that is either. Really?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:48

Well, it's exactly what it sounds like.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:50

No, a cat scratched, yeah, you got a fever.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:52

Yeah. Now if you listen to Uncle Ted, you get it from the pussy next door.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:57

I've heard that.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:58

So uh there is that.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:03

Where is that old fucker at? You used to see I used to see him pop up on China.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:09

He was up here last year season at the old drome country market for their buck pole night.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:15

You get into any of that shit?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:17

Not really.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:20

Okay. Um, how's our buddy Evan been?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:25

He's doing good. Yeah, yeah, doing good.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:27

Uh must have moved. Apparently he doesn't drive by any party stores on his way to or from here.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:33

You know what's funny at work yesterday. Or no, not yesterday. I was off yesterday. Um the day before, he says, You guys gotta be getting pretty low on beer this is we're fucking out. So take a am, bud. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:50

And if he needs to borrow 30 bucks to buy one, I'll give him the 30. I just it feels better when somebody else gives it to you.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:57

Right. Yeah. You know, like like these beautiful. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:06

Um, well.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:08

Uh so we got well, we got the Facebook page. Uh Bob and Brad Perpetually Wrong.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:16

Facebook page, we're 307 followers.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:19

We need to we need those are rookie numbers. We need to. Times that by ten at least. Um we got perpetually wrong.com is the website, which will get you to all of our socials. Everything. They call them socials. Uh I think it sounds funny when they say that. I don't like that either.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:35

I you say that and I'm thinking we're gonna go get ice cream.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:39

Yeah. But if you go to perpetuallywrong.com, you can get to our YouTube, you can get to our Spotify, our Apple, our TikTok, iHeartRadio, our iHeartRadio. Um, there's a spot on there to message for an email.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:55

Um, there's events, there's RSVPs, there's bios. Yeah. I mean, anything you can think of is on the website. Um, we have a phenomenal website designer.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:07

A lot of pictures, too. Go through them. Yep, lots of pictures. And I'll say the picture part. Uh you gotta, if you can from an iPad or from a computer, it's better because on the phone they're in such little thumbnails that you gotta zoom in. Zoom in.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:23

But who don't know how to fucking zoom in? Right. I mean everybody, everybody's a fucking Facebook investigator. Yeah. They click on a picture and zoom in and say, well, he's at so-and-so, or he's that's he's doing this, or he's doing that. So you all know how to fucking zoom in. I shouldn't have to explain that to you.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:40

How do you feel about the fake names on the socials?

SPEAKER_00 1:11:43

I hate that. Talking about on the on the pages where they can go anonymous. I think that's bullshit. If you have the balls enough to say something, put your name to it. Your name should be to it.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:54

Yeah. Yep. Or, you know, you want to be anonymous, fine, but give us a button that we can push, see unanonymous, you know, like translate button. Right. Oh, Sean Gibson, you can go suck a dick, motherfucker. I can't believe you said that.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:06

These anonymous posts in these Facebook groups. And then that's another accountability thing. It is, and what it's turned into is now you're getting people that are shit starters.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:17

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:18

So they'll go on anonymous and they'll start some fucking just mess of shit. And it's like you're just doing it to to fuck with people.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:28

I had a moment on uh Zionia or Portland page the other day. This chick was talking about how people need to slow down going down 66, and the shoulder is not a passing lane, so if you're waiting to turn left, well fuck two, you know, fucking you should have used it. Well, she's going on and on, and you don't even know how unsafe it is. I almost get ran into several times a day. And, you know, you fucking motorcycle people, you guys suck dick. You can fucking die. I hope you die when you finally crash. And truck drivers don't even get me started on them fuckers. Well, I read all these comments and this bitch just keeps going on. And I finally go on there and I forget her name, or I'd call her out right now. Um, I says, hey, I says, uh, hope you're doing well. I'm one of those people that you hate. I've got a million and a half miles in a semi, I've got hundreds of thousands miles on a motorcycle, I've had my fucking driver's license for almost 40 years. I said, and I can count on one hand how many times I've almost been ran into. I said, so the problem is you. I said, and feel free to go take a refresher class, but you gotta be looking at the intersections, uh parking lot entrances, uh looking behind you, and look further ahead than your fucking hood. And if you're almost getting ran into multiple times a day, you're the fucking problem. Do you disagree? Nope. I mean, fuck me. And she she's replying to everybody, calling them a piece of shit and stuff, never replying to me. Come on.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:10

If if you're out there listening, and this was your post, his anonymous name was Frog Fuel 274. So feel free to know who it was that was.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:25

Oh, I hate that anonymous shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:27

It's it's cowardly.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:28

It is. It is. I'm just gonna go start some shit and let me know when dinner's done and I'll come back. And how do you feel good about it?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:36

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:36

You know, and um, I gotta throw out there too, MacDaddy. I do apologize a little bit. I was getting a little pissy with you about you not being able to get your navigation and shit into your bike and not knowing what the fuck a USB cord is. But in all honesty, I've seen the age of the girls you're dating. If you don't know, they should know what a USB cord is. So um, but it is, you were correct, it is not as simple as just plug it in like our our older bikes are.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:08

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:08

Um, but I'm not the guy that said I'm gonna sell the bike I love and get this fancy fucking thing that I don't know how to operate. That's on you. But uh read the book. They'll tell you how to do everything. But I did I did feel bad because I get I lost my patience with them. And Jesus fucking Christ, Mac, it's not that fucking hard. Well, in all reality it was. Yeah, so I hope he uh appreciates the apology.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:34

I gotta say, how long have we been doing this for?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:37

Uh September. So how many months? Three, six, that's nine months. Oh my god, we're nine months in a week.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:42

Nine months. So in nine months, I've heard you apologize more times than I ever have in the whole time I've known you, which is kind of funny. But I also like that you waited until we were an hour and 16 minutes into the show to make your apology, knowing that most people are still aren't listening. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:06

Yeah. So I like your tact. But I do have an idea on that too. Okay. Apple says everybody listens 14,000 people, 50%.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:16

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:17

So I'm thinking we should start recording in 10 minutes in, eject, share, continue. We do you know how many more people we'd probably have? Yeah. Our numbers would skyrocket. I don't know if that's how it works.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:34

Or we might try it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:36

Episode 34, episode 34, point two, point three, point, you know, chapter it.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:41

And if you have any questions or concerns with the show, if email's not your thing, it's not my thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:48

Right. You're a caller.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:49

Yeah. I'm not a texter. So if you need to text into the show for anything, any questions, concerns, ideas, anything you want to talk about, something you want to hear our our opinion on, because you'll get it. You'll get it. You can text at 616-528-8293. I'm not going to repeat it because you're going to hit fucking pause and get your paper.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:13

Oh, and you can rewind too.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:15

So I would like something that makes that rewind noise. Anywho. No, and I just one more thing before we go. So I'm on this podcast page.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:30

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:30

Facebook. And these fucking people. So I like to keep my shows at like 20 minutes or less because I don't want to lose my viewers. Um the problem I've got is it's taking me five to six hours to edit my 20-minute show. Um, is there a quicker editing? Who the fuck sits there and edits all their shit?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:54

We have never edited. I wouldn't know how. What's this? This episode 35, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 1:17:59

It is.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:00

We haven't edited anything. Yeah. We fucking hit record, we talk, we fuck up, we stumble, we we do have a couple pauses here and there.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:10

Some alms and huh?

SPEAKER_00 1:18:12

Oh and like it is what it is. No, and and we don't even have shit for notes. No. We just we freestyle that shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:21

I'm not gonna could you imagine spending six hours editing a 20-minute show?

SPEAKER_00 1:18:26

No. Fuck. No. And it's because you're trying to be too perfect, and then it's gonna actually make you sound stupid. It takes away. Because it's gonna be blotchy.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:33

Yep, it takes away. Um, I mean, our the you can't call it an edit, but the most we've done is we play with the sound levels on the microphone.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:43

Yeah, that's just for just trying to make it more clear and more ear-friendly, distorted, or anything like that. But that's just a slider here and there that's not editing, and that's fuck me.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:56

Yeah, six hours. And a lot of people, oh yeah, that's about normal.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:00

Fuck. For 20 minutes. Not not for this cowboy, I think. If I had to edit this, I'd be like six days. Oh.

unknown 1:19:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:09

Hey, are we gonna do another show this week? No, I'm not done editing last week. Yeah, I don't I don't understand it. Takes away from the authenticity.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:17

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:18

I think.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:19

You know, Bob and Tom, uh Cold Beer and Hot Wings, they sit there every morning. They cut out some stuff, no doubt.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:28

Oh, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:29

But they're not editing when they're sitting there freely talking. They're coming to East Lansing.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:34

Are they really? Yeah, Freebear and Hot Wings coming to East Lansing.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:36

Really?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:37

Doing a live show.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:38

Where at?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:39

I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:40

I wonder if we could get on board as like an opener.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:43

I was thinking we should maybe go.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:46

We should. Do you know when it is yet?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:48

They keep an advertisement on their show.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:50

Write it down when you hear it.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:51

I will.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:53

I'll write that down on the dust of my dash.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:57

You don't save a buck, it's sheer luck. Yeah. Um, yeah, write that down. That might be kind of interesting. We'd pass out our stickers and shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:05

Yeah. Maybe we'll be on their show.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:07

Yeah, we could be.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:08

Yeah. Maybe that'll be maybe they won't want us on the show. Maybe they'll be afraid we take overs.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:15

Yeah, so guys, if you cannot contact us in any of the several ways we gave you.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:21

You're not trying.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:22

Um, you could go to Cold Beer and Hot Wings. It's Free Beer. Free Beer. Is it Free Beer? It's Free Beer and Hot Wings. So you could go to Free Beer and Hot Wings, and you could send them a message saying, hey, have you guys heard Bob and Brad? You're coming to Islamic. No, not the gay physical therapist from Minnesota. Yeah. That's going to get his legs broke if he doesn't stop harassing us.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:47

You can't say that.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:48

No, we can't, and I'm not. Fucking goddamn, just lay off us. We're not competing with you, dude. No, no. But yeah, send cold beer. No, hot free beer? Free beer. Free beer and hot wings messages and tell them they should get us on their show when they come to East Lansing because they're right in our backyard. Yeah. We'll be there. I would prefer that you do that more than contacting us. Correct. Really? I mean, that would be that'd be funny as fuck.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:15

And uh Danny, if you're still listening. Oh, yeah. Things are getting put in place for the uh off-grid. And Mac wants in on the action.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:29

I don't know if I don't know if I can handle him for a week.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:34

He may not have a choice.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:36

No.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:37

He finds out where we're off grid, he's gonna come out there and show up. He'll have us a whole fucking cottage built by day two.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:46

He might. I mean, he is a husky bear. I bet he could haul some wood. He he's a worker. Is he? Oh yeah. Yeah, we might need him then.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:53

Does he crochet? Because I want a hammock.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:57

Just buy one and take it with you.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:59

Can we do that?

SPEAKER_00 1:22:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:03

Look at the fucking off-grid guy. Well, I didn't know if we were gonna. They're using DeWalt power tools. Gilligan Island it. Those guys on the shows are using frickin' chainsaws and DeWalt power tools, and you're like, well, how do they charge the battery?

SPEAKER_01 1:22:16

Solar.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:17

Exactly. That's off-grid.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:18

Okay. Yeah. We're not Amish.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:21

We're off-grid. I would love to live with Amish for a fucking week.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:26

I would. Right up until it's 4 a.m. and I'm out there churning butter.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:29

But most Amish are a little more modernized than what I want a real one. General idea.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:36

So if any of you guys from Ship Shawana are true Amish, drop us a line. We'll come down and visit for a weekend.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:43

If they're true Amish, they're probably not listening to podcasts.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:45

But they'll tell their friends. Hey, Josiah, these guys were talking. They want to live like you do.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:52

Oh, dad would strick in me with the whip if I was on there. Get a hold of them. Maybe they can do my sister so we can get away from the inbreeding.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:02

We'll be shunned.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:07

Sorry, Trish, Kelly, duty calls.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:11

It's not pleasure, it's business.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:13

That's right. Getting 400 bucks for this seed.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:17

It's actually five.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:18

Is it five? Yeah. That's pretty good. God damn. Counted all the fucking $500 bills you flushed down the toilet this year alone.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:27

Yeah, but if you could dump two loads a day, that's a grand a day.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:30

Yeah.

unknown 1:23:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:31

Tell me about every day.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:32

That's $365,000. And a year.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:36

I ain't got a problem with that. Yeah, we can travel all around. Um, anywho, where are we at here? I think that's about all I've got for today. Well, next week we'll do better uh with the uh topics and today's a Roman numeral. If I episode if I could get you to do one favor for me before next week.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:57

What's that?

SPEAKER_01 1:23:59

Stay on top of your Michigan history.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:01

Yeah, I shit the bed this week. You fell off a little bit. But that's all right.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:04

You recovered fine.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:05

Yeah. It was a lot going on.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:10

And next week's probably gonna be much the same.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:13

Yeah, probably. So yeah, on that note, we're gonna cut you guys loose. Hope you felt like we were more comfortable in our setting.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:25

I feel like Dave and Andrews doing the news. You're like Jane Altridge. I don't remember. Okay. Well, them two sat by each other for years. And you know what? I heard a rumor that they never boned. Probably didn't. You don't work alongside a woman for 30 years and not. I do, I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:47

Well, you fuck, you live with your wife for two years and you don't fuck her, so it's completely possible.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:54

Yeah, maybe it is just me.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:57

Two years into marriage, and it is dried up.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:02

I got my kids. Okay, good.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:04

Yeah, yeah. I was just using you for children. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:08

Oh, it wasn't worth much more than that.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:13

Anywho. All right. We'll catch you guys on the next episode.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:16

Brian and Sarah, Mitch and Julie, Dan and uh fucking Mickey and the extras that I don't know because we didn't get invited on the boat ride. But you guys have fun down there at Cumberland this weekend. All right.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:29

Oh yeah. Yeah. Hope you're listening to all the shows.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:34

So we'll catch you guys next week. And as always, stay positive, test negative.