Episode 43

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Welcome everybody. What are we? August 12th here, and we finally made it over to the diesel tap. About damn time. We've got uh a couple guests. If you can't see them, that's Mr. and Mrs. Omer, Brian and Christy. And we might have another extra jump in here in a little while. Give us something interesting about yourselves. Let the people know who you are.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Uh truck driver, mechanic, uh. Not too exciting.

SPEAKER_04 0:36

Well, I don't I don't think that's true.

SPEAKER_03 0:38

Bob's got a thing for mechanics.

SPEAKER_04 0:41

I do.

SPEAKER_03 0:42

He likes the way they get all greasy.

SPEAKER_05 0:44

No, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 0:45

I like the way you turn your wrench.

SPEAKER_05 0:47

It's like uh diesel your perfume.

SPEAKER_04 0:50

Yeah, well, yeah. Well, sometimes I wear it on accident.

SPEAKER_03 0:54

You tort me.

SPEAKER_04 0:56

I could. I could. About 400 foot pounds.

SPEAKER_05 1:01

What do you do, Christy? Oh, very boring. HR.

SPEAKER_04 1:05

So it's not boring. So everybody either loves you or they hate you, depending on the day. Yeah. That's that's what I get out of the way.

SPEAKER_03 1:13

Would you say more people like you?

SPEAKER_05 1:15

Uh I would probably say no. Like, I feel like I'm referred to like I'm going to the principal's office.

SPEAKER_03 1:22

I think it's your tone.

unknown 1:25

It could be.

SPEAKER_05 1:26

It is. It's your tone.

SPEAKER_03 1:28

You can yell at people nicely.

SPEAKER_05 1:30

I don't yell. I'm not a yeller at work.

SPEAKER_03 1:32

We need to speak about this.

SPEAKER_05 1:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:33

Now, see, I can I can relate with that. Because I only go to HR for when I've done something I shouldn't be doing at work.

SPEAKER_05 1:40

Well, that's what they feel like, you know. So it is.

SPEAKER_03 1:43

It is a principal office. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:45

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 1:46

But um. What? I thought Brian would be a little more excited right out of the gate here. I think he's camera shy.

SPEAKER_04 2:00

Nah, he's fine. He'll warm right up. I'll warm right up. We do have these awesome, which nobody can see them unless you're watching the video. Donnie Zelmer. Don Zelmer uh U.S. Navy kan koozies that were custom made. How long was he in the Navy? Four years, I believe. And how long you were in the Navy? How long were you in the Navy?

SPEAKER_05 2:24

I was in for six years.

SPEAKER_04 2:25

Six years.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

You did six years?

SPEAKER_05 2:27

I did six, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

I was a seaman when my dad was in the Navy. That's true.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

How many how many of you do you think there are? Four years in the Navy.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

Well, you'd have to go over to the Mediterranean to find out. Was he really on a boat? He was an aircraft carrier.

SPEAKER_03 2:44

Oh yep. Yep. I see. I wanted to me and Buddy were out in Seattle a couple years ago when we were pulling campers around. And they that's where they park a lot of them. And I said, holy fuck, they got a sign up for tours. Well, wife would have killed me had I gone out there. I mean, well, saw Mount Rushmore. Oh, we saw all sorts of shit going out there, but I did not go to the aircraft carrier because I don't want to hear about it the rest of my life. Were you on air carrier?

SPEAKER_05 3:13

No, I wasn't. I was on base.

SPEAKER_03 3:15

Oh, the whole time?

SPEAKER_05 3:16

Yeah, the other the first half I was on base in Japan, and then I ended up being a recruiter. And that was here in Michigan. Do you speak any Japan? Scoche Nae.

SPEAKER_03 3:25

What's that mean?

SPEAKER_05 3:26

Very little. Oh I can count. So you can? Yeah. Like Ichi Nisan Chi Goroko.

unknown 3:32

That's right.

SPEAKER_05 3:33

Chichi ha chiku. Oh, sure.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

I feel like we're getting sworn at. That's what I feel like. I can count too. Can you say I love you long time?

unknown 3:41

No.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Me love you long time.

SPEAKER_03 3:44

It doesn't have the same.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

Huh.

SPEAKER_03 3:46

Huh. Um. So he was on a carrier the whole four years. Yes. Yes. It was almost a mile long. Do you know which one it was by chance?

SPEAKER_05 3:55

I thought it was a Roosevelt.

SPEAKER_03 3:56

Yes, Roosevelt. That's still floating too.

unknown 3:58

I think.

SPEAKER_03 3:59

No, they retired.

SPEAKER_05 4:01

Yeah, it's decommissioned. Um, and he was uh aviation boatsman's mate. Which is flight deck, basically.

SPEAKER_03 4:09

Um like when the you know resting gear and all that.

SPEAKER_05 4:12

Yeah, when the fighter jets are coming in and on and off.

SPEAKER_03 4:15

A guy I used to work with was on a carrier and he was actually on the one. He is on flight deck. He is on the one. Remember where that guy got sucked through the engine? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 4:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:27

He was he actually replaced that guy.

SPEAKER_05 4:29

You know, when you go through boot camp, they show you videos of people, like all the engines.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Oh, so it's normal. Oh, yeah. Dad saw several people get sucked into the jet engines. He said they were some dumb motherfuckers for walking up there. Well, I don't get it. They got sucked in, died.

SPEAKER_03 4:44

Yeah, it was interesting talking to Sean too, because like he said he said the pilots were just dicks. Because they're up here. They're right. And he said, uh he got in trouble for it because one's coming in, and he slacked the line so they couldn't grab it. Well, then he had to throttle up like a motherfucker to get back in. Guy comes down, throws his fucking helmet, and he says, Well, I just want you to know that you need us. And he ain't wrong. No, right. No, he's not. You know, but I guess when he was in, they the pilots had their own cafeteria. They had all their own because they're better. But I mean, you were in. How long can a person actually be a pilot in a fighter jet? Your eyes, your reactions, they're gonna last.

SPEAKER_05 5:30

I'm sure, like, I mean, because you get like PT evaluations, I'm sure that they have to go through Constantly? Yeah, every year, I believe it is.

SPEAKER_06 5:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:44

Cool thing about him though, is in his all his movies where he's flying, a lot of it is him flying. Is it really? Yeah, I didn't know that. Like, uh, did you ever see Made in a I think it was Made in America, where he was flying the drugs for oh yeah. Yeah, all that flying was him. Oh. Um, like 60% of the top gun shit is him flying. I'm pretty sure I could fly a plane. I think you should, I think you should get a small one.

SPEAKER_05 6:08

I should say, here we go again.

SPEAKER_03 6:09

Turn it into a hobby.

SPEAKER_05 6:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:10

Don't ever ask me to try out the back seat. Why?

SPEAKER_05 6:13

You want to go for a ride? Because he knows what happened last time.

SPEAKER_03 6:17

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 6:19

So wind die. We gotta tell that story. Because that's a good one. What a rip, Bob. So we're over here drinking, because it happens a lot. What?

SPEAKER_03 6:30

Oh, mind you, you already knew Brian and Christy. Correct. This was my first time meeting Brian and Christy.

SPEAKER_04 6:35

So the day that uh Brad lost his virginity to Brian, he says, hey buddy, want to go for a ride on my bike? Brad, being dumb, stupid, for lack of better words, he says, Yeah, fuck yeah. He says, Well, hop on. And we've all been drinking plenty.

SPEAKER_05 6:59

Too long.

SPEAKER_04 7:00

Not too much to be getting on a motorcycle. I was just right. Yeah. So Brad jumps on the back, they take off, go down to the corner.

SPEAKER_03 7:13

As soon as we got out of the garage, I knew I shouldn't have been there. Correct.

SPEAKER_04 7:17

And uh, I'm like, he's a fucking idiot. I would have never done that.

SPEAKER_03 7:23

So we went, what, two miles up the road? Yes.

SPEAKER_07 7:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:26

So we went about two miles and probably a little over 70 seconds. And he says, I've had enough to drink, you're probably get turned around and go back home. Yep. He does a fucking U-turn and down into the fucking cornfield we go. I'm just on the back, just shitting bricks. I held her up. Are you gonna push us out of here? We got her out. When it laid her down. Nope. Yeah. Ain't been on that ever since.

SPEAKER_04 7:58

So there's a little looking while you were talking. Yeah. There's the USS Roosevelt, and then there's the USS Theodore Roosevelt.

SPEAKER_05 8:08

I believe it was a Theodore.

SPEAKER_04 8:09

The Theodore Roosevelt is the larger aircraft carrier, and it is currently heading back toward the U.S. West Coast and Southern California operating areas after completing RIMPAC exercises off Hawaii. So it's still out there doing it.

SPEAKER_05 8:26

I don't think so. Then it had to be.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

He had to bend the other Roosevelt.

SPEAKER_04 8:29

Well, the other Roosevelt is currently operating in the Arabian Sea.

SPEAKER_03 8:34

Did you look up Roosevelt? Some people pronounce it different.

SPEAKER_05 8:38

R-O-O-S-E-V- Are they like setting it up for like tours?

SPEAKER_04 8:44

Um they very well could be, but it says it was doing um exercises off Hawaii.

SPEAKER_03 8:50

Yeah, every show has a news person. They got a news person, a sports person, and other people. I'm the fact checker. Motherfucker. You know, it's about that much of every story.

SPEAKER_04 9:04

Well, what I don't know, Google does. And what Google don't know, I asked my wife, and she's for sure got a fucking answer. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:10

Yeah, she knows everything.

SPEAKER_04 9:11

I'll be paying for this comment later. How you doing over there, Kenny? You holding up?

SPEAKER_03 9:20

Yeah, got an audience and everything.

SPEAKER_04 9:21

Yeah, yeah. Um Stella, Lily? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:26

So did you see the thing? You probably haven't either.

SPEAKER_04 9:32

Probably not.

SPEAKER_03 9:32

It's like 7.3 cents a mile. Michigan wants to put this thing into place where we pay for every mile we drive in this state. Because the 52 cents of a gallon in tax isn't enough. What do you think about that?

SPEAKER_04 9:46

Too fucking much.

SPEAKER_03 9:48

The show will end if that happens. I cannot drive to your house. Come all the way home.

SPEAKER_04 9:56

Well, then you'll have to spend the night at my house, you know, drive all the way home.

SPEAKER_03 9:59

And then have you drop me off at work.

SPEAKER_05 10:02

Or you guys can get like a little bit more technical and like you do yours in video, you do. I mean, that's a lot of them do that now. I don't. We talk about it. I mean, I watch I watch a lot of them.

SPEAKER_03 10:13

We were gonna do that when I was in Florida.

SPEAKER_05 10:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:15

And the only thing I could figure is then it'd be like split frame.

SPEAKER_05 10:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:19

No, the vi the voice. Yeah, that's easy. Yeah. But if you're doing a video, it's like he's in a you tell.

SPEAKER_05 10:29

Yeah. Well, I think that's the whole point, though. You know, I don't think it matters. I don't think people matter. Because like the ones that I have watched, I know they're in different locations. They got different backgrounds.

SPEAKER_04 10:38

And that don't bother you?

SPEAKER_05 10:39

No, not one bit.

SPEAKER_04 10:40

I think we'd have a harder time feeding off each other if we were not too much.

SPEAKER_03 10:45

Right. You're gonna be looking at your fucking phone the whole time. Hold on a second, I gotta call Bob, remind him that we're on this. Bob, Bob, where are you? It would be different. It would be different. Well, it'd make it would grow your possible guest people bigger. Like Greg Greg? Dud his name? Who? Doug? Yeah, Doug. Doug. Doug. Yeah, Doug Lloyd. Yeah. He, I heard my vote. He's not coming on here because he doesn't have the time. He's out touring. So if we could do the whole split thing, we could do it from his Buick or whatever the fuck he drives. Right.

SPEAKER_04 11:21

I think he drives a Cadillac.

SPEAKER_03 11:23

You think so? I do.

SPEAKER_04 11:25

He's a Cadillac kind of guy.

SPEAKER_03 11:27

I'll vote for him, but I have a hard time voting for people with Cadillac.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

Why? Yeah. Because if Was it Alan Jackson?

SPEAKER_03 11:36

I don't know. One piece at a time? No.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

Cadillac. Cadillac kind. Oh yeah. I'm not looking it up. Kenny, who sings that song?

SPEAKER_00 11:45

It's Lenny Kershaw. I think it's a sort of thing. There you go.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

The guy's dad died and he wasn't the Cadillac kind.

SPEAKER_03 11:53

Yeah. What do you want to be dragged in? Like, do you want to be showing off? Because you said you're getting burned, right? Yeah, I'll get burned. You're getting burned? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 12:02

Probably, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:03

What do you think? Cooked.

SPEAKER_04 12:05

I don't think it's worth it. I don't think it's fair to the family if you don't have it already seen. I don't want to get burned.

SPEAKER_03 12:11

I really don't. Two ways I don't want to die is drowning in the ice and getting burned.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

We're already dead. We can get burned. We're already dead.

SPEAKER_03 12:18

When you look at the difference, I'm going to let her burn me because fuck that's a waste of money. Well, it's a lot. It's an unnecessary expense. And then you know what I'm going to do with the ashes? Well, the only way I'm letting her burn me is if it goes into our uh will or whatever you want to call it that she needs to take some of my ashes. And uh I was telling somebody this the other day, and she says, Oh my god, you want her to compress them into the earrings? I said, No, I want a fucking dildo. Yeah. Compress it into a dildo so her, every guy that comes after is like, who's that?

SPEAKER_01 12:52

Why don't you uh put it in a douche bottle and run you through one more time? That's right. No douche and it's not good for you.

SPEAKER_05 13:02

It's not.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

I've never douched, so I don't know. No, a couple douches.

SPEAKER_04 13:06

Yeah, but never done it.

SPEAKER_03 13:08

The way Mallet smells, you might want to douche.

SPEAKER_04 13:14

Did you see him do that? I did. And we talked about it yesterday. I mean the day before. What possesses you to hey?

SPEAKER_03 13:22

Look at the picture of my kids. Oh.

SPEAKER_04 13:25

It wasn't a picture of your kids.

SPEAKER_03 13:27

No, it wasn't. But it's kind of similar. Thank you. Oh, thank you. Here, Bob, take uh one of those Brian and Christy Zelmer sponsored beers. Um I look at our sponsor list every now and then. Yep. There's this uh what is it? EBC Racing, JW Oxford Racing. B CR. BCR, yeah. Haven't heard from them guys in a while.

SPEAKER_04 13:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:54

Somebody's getting a little stingy. Yep, yep, yep. Uh oven, you can do better than that. And then speaking of Evan, have you seen him advertising that they're having an open house this weekend? That was last week. That was last weekend. Last weekend. Is that his wife in the picture?

SPEAKER_04 14:07

No, I think it's the realtor.

SPEAKER_03 14:09

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 14:09

Dark hair? Yeah. That's a realtor. That's Tracy Hernley. She's she's a top realtor around the area.

SPEAKER_03 14:15

I bet she could sell me a house. Sure. Not bad to look at. She could probably buy you one too. She's uh bigwig. Would you want to be a realtor? I mean, not even a realtor. Anything that is commission-based 100%.

SPEAKER_04 14:34

No.

SPEAKER_03 14:35

I couldn't. I'm commission-based.

SPEAKER_04 14:37

Yeah. 100%. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:39

Well, in a sense, yeah. But you've got your shit. As long as you're busy, you've got set rates, right?

SPEAKER_01 14:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 14:49

Yeah. Now, could you imagine me, him, and her show up on your car lot. It's the 29th of the month, all your bills are due on the 30th, and you need to sell that fucking truck, or you ain't gonna be able to pay for your anything. That would stress the fuck out of me.

SPEAKER_05 15:05

See, that's where I get, and I think that's the difference, is because if there ain't nothing in the shop, then you're on the road.

SPEAKER_03 15:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:12

So he he has a backup plan.

SPEAKER_03 15:14

So what you need to do is you need to get around the truck stops and shit. And just I don't want to say fuck anything up, but a little dismantle here or there. Pull a little brake line, dump something in the admin done. Steal a bearing to the cam. I mean, then you then you just leave a business card behind. Welder. Call Brian. Wilder up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:42

Well, I don't think he has much to worry about. Yes, I agree you're 100% commission based because if there ain't no work, you ain't paying. You ain't getting the money. So, but your reput your reputation will keep you going. Is more than enough to keep you busy. It's been very steady. Knock on wood. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

Wherever some is.

SPEAKER_03 16:07

Yeah, you got some wood in here. I don't like bongles.

SPEAKER_04 16:11

There ain't no wood on this badass table, though, I can tell you that. No.

SPEAKER_05 16:16

Okay, uh turn the lights on, Mom. Yeah, we did get the lights going for it. I'll let you do that. I'm not sure what buttons together. I don't know. They probably won't shine through on the camera though.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

Are they on? No. Huh?

unknown 16:28

No.

SPEAKER_05 16:29

Oh, there's a light here. Yeah, you gotta look like down in too. Look down in.

SPEAKER_03 16:33

Oh, there they are. Yeah, look in the hole.

SPEAKER_05 16:35

Yeah. Yeah. I think we need more.

SPEAKER_03 16:38

You do need more.

SPEAKER_04 16:39

More is better. What color are they?

SPEAKER_03 16:40

Uh purple. Are they blue?

SPEAKER_04 16:42

I can't tell.

SPEAKER_03 16:43

Blue or purple. Now they're flashing super hyper fashion.

SPEAKER_04 16:46

Oh boy. So while while I was on the way over here, I was reflecting on my day, and a thought popped in my head and it had nothing to do with the fucking day. Which is how it really goes for me. And I was thinking, I'm gonna put us all on the spot here. I've had a little time to prepare because I was I was when I thought of it. But if you could think back, what is one thing that you have gotten rid of that you wish you never would have gotten rid of it?

SPEAKER_03 17:19

My box of phone chargers. That that's that's the that's it. Oh, you're looking for like something that's meaningful?

SPEAKER_04 17:26

Well, meaningful, something that was cool, something you've had that you got rid of it. Doesn't matter the reason you got rid of it, but something you've had that you've gotten rid of and you wish you never would have and kept it, and that's what it is.

SPEAKER_03 17:42

I'll let our guests go first on this.

SPEAKER_05 17:44

I don't know if I have an answer. Like I feel on the spot.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

Oh, yeah, that's part of it. Yeah. Some old cars. Old cars. Mm-hmm. Yep. That I've gotten rid of that I wished I still had.

SPEAKER_04 17:55

Yeah. I come up with two. Two things that I kick myself.

SPEAKER_03 18:01

Your first baby's mama?

SPEAKER_04 18:03

No, fuck no. Jesus Christ. No. That's rough.

SPEAKER_07 18:08

No.

SPEAKER_03 18:10

You can send them an email at perpetuallyorong.com. Info at remote. Oh, you wanted to make sure she had the right information.

SPEAKER_04 18:20

Mine is my first revolver that I ever bought.

SPEAKER_03 18:25

What'd you do it?

SPEAKER_04 18:27

I sold it to buy race car tires so I could go racing, which was the dumbest fucking thing I've ever done. Well, one of the dumbest things I've ever done. Sorry, I got a list over here. Um, it was a Ruger Super Red Hawk 44 Magnum revolver. I kicked myself in the ass every day, I think about that. And I had a square body K5 blazer that was clean from down south. It was my daily driver for a while, and I got rid of it to buy a new race car chassis, and that was fucking stupid.

SPEAKER_03 19:04

So what I'm saying is that race car issues have given you more regrets than happiness. Yes. I yes, yeah. Well, I don't understand that shit anyways. Every weekend I see all these motherfuckers heading up the crystal. You guys ain't making a nickel off of that. They gotta love it. And I don't want to take away from them because I got shit I like to do too.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

Right.

SPEAKER_03 19:30

But I'd make more money off of buying a fucking horse and burning up $5 bale of hay every fucking day than getting a race cars are the least lucrative thing I think you could ever get into.

SPEAKER_04 19:47

People would be like, no, horses are fuck your horses. You gotta have 700 horses under the hood. They cost a lot of money. Yes, they do. So but those are my two things. Because I would have gone through and restored that whole thing. It was pretty clean.

SPEAKER_05 20:05

That's been my obsession lately.

SPEAKER_04 20:07

The K5 blazers.

SPEAKER_03 20:09

Those things are cool.

SPEAKER_05 20:10

I want one so bad.

SPEAKER_03 20:12

They ain't worth 60 grand.

SPEAKER_05 20:13

I don't think they have gotten a little outrageous. Yes, I agree.

SPEAKER_03 20:18

30 to 40 for mint, sure, but 60, I see them on there for 82.

SPEAKER_05 20:24

Oh, we've seen them big time.

SPEAKER_03 20:26

You know, and at that point where I'm paying 82 for one of them. I don't even want to drive it down the road.

SPEAKER_05 20:32

Right.

SPEAKER_03 20:33

Yeah. You know, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 20:35

But yeah. I don't know. We went and saw one that was in pieces, and he wanted what, almost 30 grand?

SPEAKER_01 20:43

No, he wanted 13. Oh, okay. I don't know. But none of the parts were right. Yeah. It was full of bondo. Just wasn't it?

SPEAKER_03 20:51

So you're gonna spend 30 bringing right shit.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

100% at least. That's no labor. And that's if you can find the right shit. Right. Right. And it had the wrong doors, it had bondo in the back end.

SPEAKER_03 21:05

It just well, you look at any Mustang, 60s, 70s, there are so many aftermarket shit for that. You can buy anything aftermarket. You can get your new panels. What's a Mustang? But when you look at never heard of her. Me either. But when you look at your fucking square bodies, it ain't like there's 5,000 companies out there making every there's a lot.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

If you look into it, there is there? I think LMC is a lot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:31

And when you look at doing something like that, when you get right down to the stereo knobs and stuff, like a lot of people do.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

You can uh do you? No. You can build a square body from scratch. Is there really that many parts? Chassis, body parts, everything. You can build a square body from nothing. Really? 100%.

SPEAKER_04 21:51

But it's not that good high quality American steel that it was made with.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

What are you looking at though? Ballpark. Hundred grand to do that? Probably. Probably.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Yeah, I've seen the chassis for 50. No shit. Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_03 22:05

I wish I would have learned how to paint. Yeah. That is an art that people have or they don't have. You can't fake that.

SPEAKER_04 22:13

There ain't no way I'd try it.

SPEAKER_03 22:15

I would love to. Maybe you should put me if we get people to donate to the show. I could go back to school. Auto body school. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

I think LCC has that.

SPEAKER_03 22:25

Yeah, they do. Back in the day when I started with the auto shit at LCC. I was doing motors and stuff, going for school for that. Because I didn't have the patience. Now that I'm 50, I got the patience where I want to get into that body work shit.

SPEAKER_04 22:40

Back then. I'm going to stop you right there. Yeah. You ain't got a fucking ounce of patience in your body.

SPEAKER_03 22:49

Depends on who it is.

SPEAKER_04 22:51

It doesn't. I nope. Bullshit. I've seen you fucking lose it on a little old lady with blue hair, and I've seen you lose it on a fucking kid that's 10. I've seen you lose it on a female that's 47. It don't matter. You don't have no fucking patience.

SPEAKER_03 23:04

That 47-year-old female is a button pushing. I know who you're talking about.

SPEAKER_04 23:09

You are a problem.

SPEAKER_03 23:11

And the old lady people, they're just don't be stupid.

SPEAKER_04 23:15

See what I'm saying? There's no patience.

SPEAKER_03 23:17

It isn't me.

SPEAKER_04 23:19

He'll be mixing up a fucking canister of painting fucking hardener and be like, oh Jesus Christ, what the fuck? Somebody fucking left the cap out of my hardener and these stupid motherfuckers.

SPEAKER_03 23:30

Somebody dipped their dick in my hardener. Zoman must have been around.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

It needed stirring. Hey Chris, does Brian's dick happen to be candy apple red? How did you know? He was fucking with my paint.

SPEAKER_03 23:46

I had a dream. Wet one? Or dry? No. It was dry. But uh it was just uh I think it was Monday night. I wake up to some clattering in my living room. And I wake Trisha up and I says, somebody's stealing our shit. And she says, just go back to bed. The kids must have just got home. Drunk. And then I woke up in the morning. I went walking out in the living room. Everything was gone. My TV was gone. Everything was gone. And I lost my shit because she told me it was the kids that were home. Well, then I woke up, and turns out, first thing I did, usually I go pee first. I went right out there, opened the door. I had to double check if your dream was real. But why would you say that? Why wouldn't you say, let me go look? It was a dream. Somebody's breaking into your house. You getting out of bed or you pushing Kelly out? Hey, go see what that is. I'm gonna tell Lucas to go handle it. Because he can shoot way better than I can. Would you get out? Just you and Kelly are home. Would you get up and go look or would you send her?

SPEAKER_04 24:57

Actually, that happened in real life.

SPEAKER_03 25:00

Hey, don't you gotta check the laundry anyways? Yeah. See if anybody's out there.

SPEAKER_04 25:03

Yeah. My lunch has probably got to start getting packed. So shortly after our wedding, where we got some new pic, the wedding pictures were all developed and all that. She found this real nice metal um thing that had like seven different picture spots on it. It's pretty pretty heavy duty. And it was hanging in the kitchen. And she put it on those uh command strips. You guys got a lot of yourself on it. Yep. And um all this. I command it. You have much better luck with command strips than I do.

SPEAKER_03 25:38

You're like, I think they come a long way. Right. Yeah. Ten pounders, twenty pounders, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:43

So we're dead asleep, and all of a sudden we heard on our shoulders. We saw or we heard this crash out in the kitchen. And I mean, thing, big metal thing fell down, glass broke, sounded like somebody busted the window. Was there glass on it? Yeah, the in front of the house. Yes, yep. You know where our you know where our like our kitchen table is and the coffee bars right there? Yep. It was right above that. Oh. And uh, she's like, I think somebody just broke in. I'm like, fuck me. And so I'm like, alright, so I fucking grab my pistol off the nightstand and I fucking go out there.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

Was it the 44 that you traded for race car parts? No. No.

SPEAKER_04 26:27

I had already gotten my race car tires and I had a picture.

SPEAKER_03 26:33

Fuck you, Brad. You too, Brian. Asshole. I just ask him. Anyway. Was that before you had your automatic restriction?

SPEAKER_04 26:41

Or I don't have no fucking restriction. Anyway, so I go out there and I'm fucking sneaking down the hall and wait until I get to the end and flipping the light on. Thought I was gonna be, you know, fucking husband of the year with brand new newlyweds. Like, I'm gonna show her how good she's got it. And I get out there and there's a fucking picture frame on the ground, and I'm like, ah, crisis averted. I still I still went through the whole house though, just because I want to show her that I was in charge.

SPEAKER_03 27:08

Did you go lay back down and just say, uh, glass broke, and you go get the broom and sweep that up before I leave for work and cut my foot?

unknown 27:15

No.

SPEAKER_03 27:16

No, no, I did not.

SPEAKER_01 27:18

I might have, I don't know. Probably. The guy that knocked that off noticed that he had his class B. He felt so bad he left.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

This guy needs his money more than I do. You had that happen here?

SPEAKER_05 27:38

Well, I'm one that I hear every little sound, and he's one that gets into bed, and he's instantly he's out. And I'm not. It takes me a while and stuff, and I'm like hearing sounds, and he's always, well, go check it out. Go check it out.

SPEAKER_03 27:52

Is that not the most irritating fucking thing when you go lay down? Because Trish does it too. Lay down, I'd be like, Well, good night. She's already holding. I wish I could do that.

SPEAKER_05 28:02

Every time that's me.

SPEAKER_03 28:04

You do too? As soon as I'm in bed, fucking lights go out. Pretty quick. Done. Oh, I can't. I that's when I started thinking about everything.

SPEAKER_05 28:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:13

Well, if you think about things during the day and stress yourself out enough, you'll be so fucking exhausted when you lay your head down, you go to bed.

SPEAKER_05 28:21

But I'm thinking about the next day.

SPEAKER_04 28:23

Right.

SPEAKER_05 28:23

Now I'm putting the next day together, so I'm already planning, pre-planning.

SPEAKER_03 28:27

Oh, that's how I am, too.

SPEAKER_05 28:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:28

That must be the HR in your. I applied for one of them jobs.

SPEAKER_05 28:33

An HR job? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:34

Indeed, came and said, oh, your background would I didn't get a couple of jobs.

SPEAKER_04 28:39

I'd love to see you as an HR person. Wouldn't that be fucking awesome? The person that got in trouble for saying something they shouldn't have comes to you and then you make them feel like an idiot because you say something ten times worse.

SPEAKER_03 28:55

Everything's he's a dick. But that's a tough job, though, because you gotta know what's actually acceptable.

SPEAKER_05 29:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:05

And politically correct. So, like your guys, you you get lots of things.

SPEAKER_05 29:09

And know when to not laugh.

SPEAKER_03 29:11

Because some stories come across, and I'm just do you get to take a break with other workers, or is it just HR strictly takes a break together? Or are you the HR?

SPEAKER_05 29:21

I I am the. So I I don't really take breaks. I mean I try to take a lunch if I can, but a lot of times I'm I'm working at my desk.

SPEAKER_04 29:30

I think they refer to her as the HMFC. Yeah. HMF I C.

SPEAKER_03 29:40

Yes. Yeah. Um so who do you report to?

SPEAKER_05 29:43

I have a director of HR.

SPEAKER_03 29:45

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05 29:46

Yeah. Actually, I think she was promoted. I think she's VP of HR now.

SPEAKER_03 29:51

Does she ever like So we're all working for you? You get a problem with me because that's typically where HR gets involved. We have a chat. Does she ever follow up?

SPEAKER_05 30:07

No, no. No, I've had it. Um she's in a different state, so we're not, you know.

SPEAKER_03 30:13

So she just assumes what you're doing is right. She knows her judgment.

SPEAKER_05 30:19

Yeah, she she knows that I take care of stuff, but the problem I got with that is a lot of people.

SPEAKER_03 30:30

Um, how do I say this? Like say Bob's got a little going on mentally. He thinks he's fine, but I think he's fucking nuts. Well, nobody's policing him, so they just assume no, he can go off the gun and fire this guy, because I think he's trying to say something.

SPEAKER_05 30:57

No, I think like what you're trying to get at is like even if you disagree with my decisions or whatever, you are allowed to move on, and you could move to her, and then she would do an investigation, and then she would want my notes, and then I would take my stuff and move it over to her.

SPEAKER_04 31:12

So I could move up, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 31:14

You follow the chain, you follow the chain of command.

SPEAKER_04 31:16

But she's gonna say, Well, if Christy said this, it's gotta be accurate. Get the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_05 31:22

And that that's usually like when they they do call, you know. I've had it where they've called her and stuff like that, and they first thing she does is Did you take it to Christy first? You know, and then if if they didn't, she refers them back to me. And then if they say yes they did, then she she hears them out.

SPEAKER_03 31:38

Are there anything that would you would consider as like three strikes? Bah bah bah, you're done. Like what would I say that would immediately get me discharged?

SPEAKER_04 31:49

How heinous of a crime does it have to be? Thank you.

SPEAKER_05 31:52

There's certain policies that are zero tolerance, so like if there's if you break a zero tolerance, it is an automatic termination, but then we also have like a progressive discipline where you're given a verbal and a written.

SPEAKER_03 32:03

Can I do a co-worker at break time and not get fired?

SPEAKER_05 32:07

Um off the premises, yes. But not on the premises.

SPEAKER_01 32:12

Okay. Only anal. Only anal. Only anal. Because that's not actual sex, right?

SPEAKER_04 32:19

Right. So anal on the property? It's fine. Okay. But vaginal has to be off the property.

SPEAKER_07 32:25

Correct, correct.

SPEAKER_03 32:26

Where's blowy's fit into that?

SPEAKER_01 32:29

It's a gray area.

SPEAKER_03 32:30

Yeah. Depends on how much DHR girl likes you.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

If it's finished or not.

SPEAKER_04 32:38

Yeah. If you're the guy getting a blowy and the girl didn't finish, the girl's probably out the fucking door because she didn't do her job. Right, right. I mean that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_05 32:46

Have you ever had somebody come in really?

SPEAKER_06 32:53

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 32:54

No?

SPEAKER_06 32:54

Yeah. Oh, you have. Oh, I'm yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:57

And then you just gotta I need to check the chicken.

SPEAKER_06 33:01

Deal with it. Investigate.

SPEAKER_03 33:03

Just watch the core. Because I can see the whole boss thing like that could be a problem, but just two normal folks, I think it should be allowed. I agree. I mean, you're out there on the side of the road.

SPEAKER_04 33:19

Well, hold on. I disagree at my workplace, because it's all dudes, and that would not be cool.

SPEAKER_07 33:25

Well, then the anal only is a problem.

SPEAKER_04 33:28

Right, right. Huh! You guys are fucking each other in the ass? Have the break room.

SPEAKER_05 33:34

Let's let's not.

SPEAKER_03 33:36

Because I when I got into the office like five years ago, I learned a lot about HR. Me and this Khalia were pretty good friends at the first six, eight months.

SPEAKER_06 33:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:47

You know. Brad, just so you know, I should really not know you by your first name. Because I had a lot of people complaining. But in that time, it's proven the way I talk to the guys has proven to be effective. They don't believe.

SPEAKER_06 34:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:05

They're happy to be there. So that's the hard part of that job.

SPEAKER_05 34:08

I I agree with you. And I try to tell like my people and stuff like that. Um, I don't consider myself like what you would say, like a real HR or true HR and stuff like that. Because I find them to be they're stiff.

SPEAKER_07 34:23

Right.

SPEAKER_05 34:23

They're very stiff, you know. So if someone has a problem and if someone is like um, you know, swearing or doing that, I'm like, come do it in my office. I can handle the swearing, I can handle the yelling, you know, so come do it with me.

SPEAKER_03 34:40

Get it out of your system.

SPEAKER_05 34:41

Yeah, yeah. You need to come bitch, bitch with me.

SPEAKER_04 34:44

So you're like the reset room at the school.

SPEAKER_05 34:47

Yeah. I try to be reasonable. I I tell people, look, I was in the Navy, I'm married to a truck driver, I can handle it.

SPEAKER_04 34:54

I guarantee nothing you can say I haven't already heard worse.

SPEAKER_05 34:59

Exactly. Yeah, you will never offend me.

SPEAKER_03 35:01

Well, that motherfucker tripped me and I fell down the stairs, like I said. Been in the Navy and I'm married to a truck driver. I have too.

SPEAKER_04 35:09

Speaking of the truck driver thing as he comes back in, I was just thinking about it. You've been trucking for 30 plus years. Yes, right? Yes.

SPEAKER_03 35:20

How many years really? Uh what age what age did you get into it?

SPEAKER_01 35:25

21. I got my CEL when I was 21. Yep. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_04 35:29

Now, there's no way to know, because I know you haven't logged it at all.

SPEAKER_01 35:35

Oh, I've always logged everything perfectly. In one book. Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 35:41

If you had to take a guess at how many miles you have trucking, I I know that's you've probably heard it a thousand times. How many, how many miles do you think you've actually put on in a truck?

SPEAKER_01 35:54

Probably two million, I I would guess. I would guess. Somewhere in there.

SPEAKER_04 35:59

Because a lot of your, like, as of the later years, a lot of your miles haven't been cross-country. No. It's all been kind of Midwest.

SPEAKER_01 36:08

Did you ever go over the road? Yes, I did. Yep. Yep. Run a reefer, ran California, Florida. Did everything.

SPEAKER_03 36:16

I'm glad I had the experience. But I'm also glad that I got out of that side of it. I did not care for it. It was terrible.

SPEAKER_04 36:27

But all you motherfuckers listening out there that have bought cars or anything that's got fucking metal on it, he's probably hauled something on your ship. I probably have.

SPEAKER_03 36:38

So you've been doing it 30 years. I got, I think, 14, 15. Thing I've always wondered is if they don't approach you, how do you know which one is actually a uh lot lizard? Because there are some skankies that are there as regular customers. I've got this is a valid question. Hey baby, how much for a blowage? He's like, I'm just picking up some Arby's for my husband. Oh.

SPEAKER_01 37:08

I've always had the natural instinct where it's always worked out. I just can't explain it. It's how does a posty traction work on a Plymouth? It just does. That's right. Joe Dirt right there.

SPEAKER_03 37:24

No, what can uh, you know, we've got a lot of younger kids that listen to us.

SPEAKER_04 37:28

They probably don't even know what a lot lizard is.

SPEAKER_03 37:30

Some of them are, you know, thinking about getting in the trucking when they're 21, 23. Yeah. I think it's to be honest, I wish I would have gotten into it and not have, you know, I I'm happy I like that I know how to do all the construction related shit that I did. But I wish I had gotten into the trucking at 18 to 21. Because I'd be financial-wise, I'd be way further ahead. Depending. But anywho. Well, that all depends on the. What's a blowy go for at a your average uh I don't have any. Back in the day when you were OTR.

SPEAKER_01 38:07

Oh, back in the day. 20. 20 bucks. Yeah. I in fact, I have a story about that. We'd love to hear it. We like stories. When uh when I first started trucking, when I was in my early 20s, um, there was an old man that I knew, and he came in a truck stop, and we would all have breakfast together, a bunch of us, and and you call him $20 Bill. Yeah. Well, I didn't truck. But he uh he said, uh, I got me a blow job on the way into town this morning, and I said, Oh yeah? How much did that cost? And he said, Well, he said, fifteen dollars. And I said, Really? $15? He said, Yeah. He said, Well, not really anything. He goes, to be honest, I made five. And I was like, I'm listening. How in the fuck did you make five getting a blowjob? He said, Well, I got me one of them color copiers, and I made up some $20 bills, and them whores wanted $20 for a blowjob, and I Jewed them down to $15. I give them a fake $20 and got a real five and change. And I thought, guys, a fucking genius. I gotta buy a printer. He was making money.

SPEAKER_04 39:25

It was two days later when Brian got home, he had a printer.

SPEAKER_03 39:30

I thought when we used to give the strippers two dollar bills. And I wish I would have held on to them now because they don't make them. But yeah, we used to do that. You throw a roll up a $2 bill and they think it's $20, and boy, they'd get crazy. Then they'd get mad.

SPEAKER_04 39:44

How mad would they get?

SPEAKER_03 39:46

Pretty fucking upset because stupid us didn't realize that, you know, they go off stage, they're counting their fucking money. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, we got kicked out of two different places.

SPEAKER_01 39:57

I met a group of snowmobilers last winter up north, and they do a week in the UP every year, and they pay for everything with two dollar bills. True story. Really? The whole everything. Everything they buy, they pay for with two dollar bills. It was the week you were there, but it was before you got there. I think it was Glenn and us and Kenny. Where do they get them? Because they don't bank them anymore. They don't. Well, they they said they go to the bank and the bank has them for them. Oh, they do. Every year, it's a ritual, they said. That's pretty cool. That's actually really cool.

SPEAKER_03 40:31

Because a lot of people are getting a fuck. You leave a $2 bill tip for a waitress, that's better than leaving a $5 bill. No, because it's a $2 bill. Right. You don't see them. I mean, right, right.

SPEAKER_04 40:42

So Scooter. We all know Scooter. Everybody should know Scooter. Um he's he went to the bank, I don't know, a few months back and went and got some brand new $2 bills, and they were as crisp and clean and nice. And he gave he actually gave me and Kelly and Lucas all one from the pile that he got. He's like, ah, I got this for you. I really think you'd like to have one of these. Yeah, so I got we got a couple two dollar bills at home that uh they're like brand new. They were 2018, I think.

SPEAKER_01 41:12

We we have quite a few two dollar bills we saved over the years. Yep. Keep them flat. Yep, yep. They're in a uh Manila uh envelope.

SPEAKER_03 41:21

Off top of your head, who's on it?

SPEAKER_01 41:23

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 41:24

Oh, here comes the fact checker.

SPEAKER_00 41:26

Hold on a second, Bob. Um who's on the two dollar bill, Ken? Thomas Jefferson?

SPEAKER_05 41:33

No. Is he on money? I think he's on money, but I don't think it's two.

SPEAKER_03 41:38

Grant's the 50, right?

SPEAKER_05 41:39

I think so. That sounds that sounds good.

SPEAKER_04 41:44

Who did you say?

SPEAKER_03 41:45

Grant.

SPEAKER_04 41:46

Did you have a guess?

SPEAKER_03 41:47

No, no, I said Grant's on the 50. On the 50. I don't know who's on the two. Did you have a guess? Whitgrow Wilson.

SPEAKER_04 41:53

No. And what did Kenny in the background say?

SPEAKER_00 41:55

Thomas Jefferson.

SPEAKER_04 41:56

Boy, that time that Dad Kenny knows his onions. That motherfucker was right on the money.

SPEAKER_03 42:02

Wow. Washington is the only one that's on two forms of time so right? The dollar bill and the quarter?

SPEAKER_04 42:10

I'm not fact-checking that. My thumbs are tired.

SPEAKER_03 42:13

Oh. Right? He's on the quarter.

SPEAKER_04 42:17

Who's on the quarter?

SPEAKER_03 42:18

I think George Washington. Yeah, I think he's on the quarter and the two-dollar bill. Or the one dollar bill.

SPEAKER_01 42:23

Had you ever seen the quarters when they were doing the different things on the backs of the city? Oh, the slaves? Yeah. Had you ever seen the one with the horse on it?

SPEAKER_03 42:31

No.

SPEAKER_01 42:32

Yes. I have seen the horse. Do you know what kind of horse that is?

SPEAKER_03 42:35

No idea.

SPEAKER_01 42:36

What's a quarter horse?

SPEAKER_04 42:42

George Washington is on the quarter.

SPEAKER_03 42:45

And the dollar. Because you can fold his head and make him look like a mushroom.

SPEAKER_04 42:48

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:50

Why see it too? I see an in here for Trump.

SPEAKER_04 42:54

Well, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 42:57

I I'm in for it. I'd vote for it.

SPEAKER_04 42:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:59

Put him on. Yeah. I'd put him on a quarter, not a dollar.

SPEAKER_04 43:04

Why?

SPEAKER_03 43:05

Everybody can afford a quarter.

SPEAKER_05 43:07

What about a 50 center? Yeah, bring it in.

SPEAKER_03 43:09

Oh, you gotta keep that unless you take some head in the convertible. Oh. Yeah. And I don't want that to happen. How about the silver dollar? Let's not do that. Silver dollar. He should be on the silver dollar. With Sack of Jeweya.

unknown 43:20

Who?

SPEAKER_03 43:21

The Indian. Oh. Lewis and Clark? She paddled the boat for him? Oh. You know. Sack of what? Sack of Jeweah. Oh. Right?

SPEAKER_05 43:30

I think, yeah. I think you're saying it right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:32

Yeah. Sack of Joya, we uh it's how we're tomato tomato.

SPEAKER_03 43:36

And what do you think they did? Because me and you are walking through the back 40 here.

SPEAKER_01 43:42

They butt fucked that Indian.

SPEAKER_02 43:49

She's on the screen doing the fucking laundry. You show us where to go. She ain't going to my butt.

SPEAKER_01 43:57

Well, I do think forced her. To do things that she they did, and and I I do know some history about her. And um well mom was it goes back to that um she gave them all blowjobs, and that's where the term Indian giver came from. Huh. That's yeah, that's the honest God truth. You can fact check it on the other.

SPEAKER_03 44:25

One of the things we like on our show is facts.

SPEAKER_01 44:27

Yeah, that's where the term Indian Giver came from. Really? Yep, yep. From Sacco Juia. Sucking Lewis and Clark blowjobs.

SPEAKER_04 44:35

And then our next victim was Lucas Lucius Lyons.

SPEAKER_01 44:37

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 44:38

And sent him over here with lions.

SPEAKER_03 44:40

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_05 44:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:43

Think you sucked them off in the canoe? Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_05 44:46

I think I missed that. I must have been out that week in history class.

SPEAKER_01 44:50

Huh. Yeah, I paid attention.

SPEAKER_03 44:51

Give your teacher a call and just say, hey, you know what?

SPEAKER_05 44:53

You forgot to teach us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 44:55

Those guys invented the Eiffel Tower before the Eiffel Tower was what it was. Oh my god. I had to be a wide-bodied fucking canoe because you'd boy you'd tip that over. I'm looking in the notes here, Brad, and you forgot your iPad there. Yep, I did. Um something about it.

SPEAKER_03 45:15

Okay. Well I'm I'm intrigued. That was back when I thought, oh, by the way, anybody that looks at the internet, um, our ride will not be September 12th because um everybody's busy. Square body won't be done. Square body won't be done, and God forbid somebody misses uh five minutes of a ball game. But hey! You know what? I I'm a parent too, so I understand. So we're gonna push that back towards the end of September. Or middle of October. Fucking October. Middle of October? Anywho, my whole purpose for having it on the 12th. That's twofold. One, because I thought it'd be a great time because my birthday's the 13th. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:02

Okay. He was trying to double down. Yes, he was. Yeah, he was.

SPEAKER_03 46:05

Part two.

SPEAKER_04 46:06

You can't be mad at him for that.

SPEAKER_03 46:07

No, no. You guys familiar with Eagle Days? Yeah. Oh yeah. I wanted to get you in your best pair of overalls. We're gonna wrap things up at Eagle Days. They have a greased pig contest for adults only. And I was gonna pay the $10 to have you get out there and catch a greased pig. I have a question. They're big pigs. No, no, no, that's not the question. Sally and Marcy are both gonna be there this year. Oh, nice, nice.

SPEAKER_04 46:36

What's your question?

SPEAKER_03 46:38

How many people are gonna show up at this ride? Was gonna be 102, but now that I gotta move the date, probably six. Well, six would be an improvement on last time. Oh, I told you guys to buy the full pack of cooling cups. You're wasting your money on your life.

SPEAKER_01 46:59

Brad was never so pissed off in his life. I was pissed. I I wondered where everybody was when I showed up. You thought you were at the wrong place. I thought, what the fuck? Oh, that looks like Bob and Brad.

unknown 47:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 47:11

Oh, don't worry. Where everybody at? Your number one supporters were there. That's right. That is right.

SPEAKER_04 47:17

And we appreciated that. And we had a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_05 47:19

Coozies and all. What was your favorite bar?

SPEAKER_06 47:22

Ooh.

SPEAKER_01 47:23

I like the one that had the guns up north.

SPEAKER_03 47:27

Oh, your Henry dealer.

SPEAKER_01 47:29

Oh, that was. Did you ever know he did call Grant? He bumped the price to 4,500. Fucking eat a dick. Yep. I said no. What was it supposed to be? It was supposed to be $3,500. Oh, he was trying to fuck you. He was. Because he knew I wanted it, so he was trying to jab it in me. Uh the hardware store in Grant. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 47:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:51

Nice gun, but yeah, too much money.

SPEAKER_03 47:54

I hope it's still sitting there for $4,500. Well, it probably is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 47:58

Maybe we'll make that our first stop on the next on our fall ride and we'll see if it's still there. Like, hey motherfucker, I'll give you $2,500 for it now. Yeah. How about two grand?

SPEAKER_03 48:07

Can we get that far north that time of year?

SPEAKER_01 48:10

I got eight in my pickup. Yeah. You can do whatever you want. Well, I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 48:16

I think I like the last one with that Sydney Tavern? I wish, yeah, where if we sat outside. Yeah, I mean, we sat outside, and if we could have had a band there, that would have been perfect. That would have been perfect.

SPEAKER_04 48:27

That was the stuff the stop that you paid for all the drinks. Yes. And you come out and you're like, it was only like $57.

SPEAKER_05 48:35

And there was, we all had a few each. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 48:40

And I was like, well, they must have fucked up because that was like that was dirt cheap. It was.

SPEAKER_03 48:46

So one of our fanboys wants uh he wants to have an Oktoberfest. And he wants he said he'd rent a tent, he'd get a band. Do you think that's something that would draw people in, or would it be six of us, eight of us, plus him?

SPEAKER_04 49:06

You know, how how how how do you get people to well there's no motorcycles involved, so people everybody could join. Yeah. Everybody could come.

SPEAKER_02 49:14

You think that would be maybe, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:17

I think it depends.

SPEAKER_03 49:18

Yeah, I think the location because a lot of people are right there.

SPEAKER_01 49:22

That'd be that'd be good. So if there was any kind of liability, it'd all be on you. Yes, I agree.

SPEAKER_03 49:28

You already checked into that insurance thing. Did you? Yeah. How bad was that? Uh honestly? Unbelievably cheap. Oh. $6.50. Oh. Covers you for uh it'd be what did we set it up? Friday at noon to Sunday at noon. Oh. So I'm coming through with the plow truck Sunday at 11, pushing shit out of my yard.

SPEAKER_01 49:49

You wouldn't be upset if I made a claim. Um because I could use some money. Split it. 7525. Better make it big though. As long as it covers the 650.

SPEAKER_03 50:05

I can adjust. I can see you going in there too.

SPEAKER_05 50:09

Could we bring our camper?

SPEAKER_03 50:11

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 50:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:12

Oh, Jesus. Okay, hear me out. Careful with that one. I'm getting some resistance around the homestead. You guys know the Billy Strings thing? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 50:23

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:23

Going to Ionia.

SPEAKER_05 50:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:25

There's still a lot of motherfuckers that can't find places to camp. We are 13 miles from Ionia.

SPEAKER_05 50:31

Rent that shit out right now. I'm swear to God.

SPEAKER_03 50:33

I was thinking about getting some football chopped, marking out 12 by 12 squares. And getting some Porta John's. We got to keep it somewhat healthy. Yeah. And rent the shit out. Yeah. $300 for the weekend. And then I'm going to put some squares around the pond. Lakefront is $400 for the weekend. Oh, yeah. Makes sense.

SPEAKER_04 50:52

Yep. And then. You could tell this motherfucker went to rock the country last year.

SPEAKER_03 50:57

We got three fucking vans. Hold seven each. So for an additional $150, I will shuttle your ad.

SPEAKER_05 51:06

Transportation. God damn, that's amazing.

SPEAKER_04 51:08

So for where else are you going to get it?

SPEAKER_03 51:10

For $550, you can have wake front with a toilet. You can use the hose if you got a spray off, but you're not taking a shower.

SPEAKER_05 51:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 51:19

And then you get transportation there and back.

SPEAKER_05 51:22

You fucking you sold me.

SPEAKER_03 51:24

I mean, I think we know that's so four acres there. How many 12 by 12 squares is this? So we can. How many 12 by 12 squares are in four acres? Figure it out.

SPEAKER_04 51:33

One acre is 42,000 squares.

SPEAKER_05 51:35

We did Morgan Wallen, you know, and it was at the big house and stuff like that. And people were using, and I'm just talking like in the city and stuff like that, their front lawns. And you were paying like $300 just to be on someone's grass, just to park it. Walking distance? Some were walking, but I mean the further you went out, it was down to still like $100.

SPEAKER_07 51:56

Really?

SPEAKER_05 51:57

Oh yeah. It was big time just for parking. So I think you have a money maker.

SPEAKER_04 52:02

Profit.

SPEAKER_05 52:02

Don't you think that's a good idea? It is.

SPEAKER_04 52:04

You're already paying your taxes. That's what I was saying. I was just gonna say, I think I just said the Billy Strings thing.

SPEAKER_01 52:09

I think it's next week.

SPEAKER_05 52:10

Next weekend. It can't be the Billy Strings not in Iowa. Excuse me.

SPEAKER_03 52:15

This fucker ain't no Jessica. Oh, he's not. I think you're behind, buddy. I I think I can still get it. You never know. I think you could. A lot of people lost their camping.

SPEAKER_05 52:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:25

Okay, co Ionia County. These fucking people were advertising camp in my yard and on like uh Facebook and shit, Ionia County sent out a bunch of letters. You are not authorized. You need to buy a temporary campground permit from the county.

SPEAKER_01 52:43

Can I can I ask you a question? Yeah. If we went camping and you woke up with a rubber hanging out of your ass, would you tell anybody? So yes or no? Yes or no? Yes or no? Yes or no? Yes or no?

SPEAKER_03 53:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 53:02

Who would you tell?

SPEAKER_03 53:03

The motherfucker that the rubber fell off of.

SPEAKER_04 53:06

How would you know who it was?

SPEAKER_03 53:07

Because I don't get that fucked up. You want to go camping? Yeah. Yeah. You cook, and I'll fucking. I'm a good bitch. We're gonna go there to eat. Okay. What are you saying? The whole thing, like going back to my prostitution question with you, how much is a blowjob and stuff? Yeah. And my whole thing is I know what I've spent on blowjobs. I know what I've spent on. Millions. Millions. You go into the bar, this chick, you're buying her beer. Yeah. Or expensive drinks. Or expensive mysties. Yeah. Yep. Which let me I didn't mind doing this with some ass. I kind of mind the performance that comes with these. Because this, what are these? About 50, 60 cents a piece. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These are about a buck twenty-five apiece. Yeah, I think. So girl, if you're drinking this, I expect you to be three-quarters passed out, not really in the game. I'm buying these, I expect a little bit of porn star. Oh. I want an exhibit. Right.

SPEAKER_04 54:22

I noticed how you grabbed the pineapple one on purpose. By Joe. Should have turned it upside down. Yeah. Hell you could have a table for it. You could have had half the bar.

SPEAKER_03 54:33

But that's the thing I got is all these girls are like, oh my god, I can't believe that chick went to Vegas and she's an escort. Bitch, you ain't no different.

SPEAKER_01 54:42

You just sold her for drinks. Yes. She just got paid. Right. You didn't. She made a house paint. It's jealousy. So I have a buddy.

SPEAKER_03 54:52

Would you agree that all chicks are kind of hookers?

SPEAKER_01 54:56

Absolutely. Okay. How about you? Everybody except my wife. Because I love my wife and she's perfect.

SPEAKER_03 55:07

I bought a shit when you told me you two didn't sleep together until the week after you were married to make sure that you were locked in.

SPEAKER_04 55:13

Yep. That's a fact. Yep. Yep. What a good Catholic girl you are.

SPEAKER_01 55:19

She was. And I didn't want to.

SPEAKER_03 55:21

I didn't want to. Catholic ones are the best. And you, when you're doing them, you know a difference between a Catholic and a catch. I'm going to tell you right now.

SPEAKER_01 55:28

She introduced me to her Catholic priest, and then I got all I wanted. I didn't have to. Right. Did you look young? Yeah. I was very boyish. I had a full head of hair. So I got a buddy. Did you want a white gown? Let me show you the back room. You like candy butters? And I was like, fuck.

SPEAKER_04 55:48

I got this buddy who he he says, I don't pay for pussy. I never pay for pussy. The fuck he does. He's a liar. And our other buddies, and myself included, we said, You're so fucking full of shit. And he's like, no, I don't. And I said, okay, let's run us through a night. You go to the bar. You meet this girl. Did you buy her a drink? Well, yeah, want to get her tuned up, get her in the mood. I said, cost pussy.

SPEAKER_03 56:22

Yep. And I'll tell you what though, I'm glad I grew up when I did. Because nowadays, them bitches are evil. They wake up and they their friends will be talking, they're texting, bing, bing, bing. Oh, did you go home with that guy? Oh my god, that's disgusting. Now the girl's getting something. Oh, that is. Now she's gonna accuse you of rape.

SPEAKER_01 56:45

Well, if it's disgusting, she probably ought to wash it. Ben there. Girl, wash that thing.

unknown 56:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:54

Oh, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 56:56

Yesterday, uh speaking of that. Can you imagine if your dick can tell stories? Hey, yesterday, Kenny and I was in the upper peninsula and uh Michigan? Yes, yep. And we stopped for some dinner, and uh we got some beef jerky and smoked fish. Typical UP dinner. Absolutely. And uh yeah, the uh the smell of the smoked fish was horrible, and I didn't want to get in trouble when I get home, so I called my wife ahead of time and I said, hey, we had some smoked fish, so if you smell something on my fingers, it was the smoked fish. And she's like, Okay. And I said, I didn't finger Kenny.

SPEAKER_04 57:44

Kenny's over there just licking his chops off. Can't believe I had some of that. Takes it back to my old days.

SPEAKER_05 57:53

What's bad is that such a true story? It's a hundred percent true story. I can't believe it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 58:01

Nobody asked you, Christy. What do you think about the whole every woman is basically a prostitute?

SPEAKER_05 58:06

I think there's points to it, yeah. I do, I do agree.

SPEAKER_03 58:10

You know, if you want something, because you were if he wouldn't have to get it or something, yeah, you probably never would have. Right. Right. I bought some iron for her. That's what I did. Yeah. Oh, did you have like a fence that went down or something?

SPEAKER_04 58:25

He woo he wooed her over with his charming personality.

SPEAKER_01 58:28

She was a dispatcher or she was a traffic coordinator at a steel plant, and uh, I was the motherfucker that got it done.

SPEAKER_03 58:39

In more ways than one. Right. You know, I like a lot of your stories, Brian. I really do. I like Christie's stories. But one really sticks out to me that I really love is when she's scared. Me too. There's several, but this one I really like. When she brought you to meet her dad, and she wanted to show you her dad's toolbox.

SPEAKER_01 59:06

And then the handle on it. Kenny, have you ever heard the story? I think it's only a lot of people.

SPEAKER_04 59:13

The people have not heard your story.

SPEAKER_03 59:15

So he's fully maxed out to be a mechanic. So he's got toolboxes everywhere, he's got tools everywhere. Just a little background.

SPEAKER_01 59:27

Okay, anyway, um, Christy said, My dad and my brother, they do all the work on our cars. And she said, Who works on your truck? And I said, Well, me. And she said, Well, who else? And I said, Nobody, just me. And she said, Well, my dad and my brothers, they got all the tools. They got a big, huge toolbox, and it's very impressive. And I was like, Oh wow. So I was expecting a lot. And uh the first time I went to her mom and dad's house, we walked in through the garage, and she said, she bumped me in the with her elbow, and she said, Hey, there's my dad's toolbox. And she pointed over there, it was about four foot tall and about a foot and a half wide. I I think it was a craftsman. Oh, and I was like, Oh, that's a really nice tool.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:20

It wasn't, it was something for my grandpa.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:22

I said, That's a really nice toolbox. I was very cordial about it. He was, he was, and uh and it was just a couple weeks later, and Christy had came over to my house, and and I had to go out in the garage and get something out of the freezer, and uh she said, Well, I've never been in your garage. Could I come out there with you? And I said, Well, yeah, absolutely. And she came out there and saw my toolboxes, and she was like, Wow, you probably weren't very impressed with my dad's toolbox, were you? And I all I did was fucking laugh.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:05

I did not.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:06

You think your mom's listening?

SPEAKER_05 1:01:07

Oh, she does.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:08

She does? Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:10

Oh, you didn't know that.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:12

She you don't see her comments, she knows always commenting.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:14

I see she comments.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:15

I don't know if she listens. It's Sandy.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:17

Oh. I think her Facebook name is Sandra. It could be Sandra. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's my name. I always wondered who that was.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:25

My Christie's mom. That's mom. Oh.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:28

God, she's kind of young, isn't she? Well uh 70 something. Yeah. Yeah. I'd have to do the math real quick.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:37

The things I've done in unprofile pictures, I'm gonna have to stop. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:44

But to be fair, you know, I didn't even know he was a mechanic. I literally thought he was just one of these truck drivers, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:51

Just a truck, just a trucker, just a trucker. Just a dirty old trucker, yeah. Oh my god, though, there is a difference in that too. I oh, there's a huge difference in the other guy a while back. And his tire is low as fuck, you can tell just by looking, you know. And he's rolling around for five, six days. And I said, You ever gonna get that tire look at? Yeah, who checks those for us? You.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:19

You motherfucker.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:21

Yeah, and it just amazes me that these guys get a job. And they ain't got the first clue about nothing. They know how to put it in a D now because there ain't no.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:32

Well, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:34

That's sorry, but that cost you all. Fuck you. I do not have an auto-endors. Is your shifter right here by the seat or is a push button on the side? It's a push button.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:49

You know what? I'm done. I'm done. I can't. Nowhere, I'm right here. How much time are we into this? We are an hour and three minutes into it. It doesn't even feel like it doesn't. It does not.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:04

No. It does not. Should we invite the fanboy over here for a minute? Because God, he looks like he's just dying to something.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:12

I do have one thing I want to, uh a little story I want to tell you. There was two things. Uh, okay. Well, there was come on over, get a chair, and you can sit right over here by the beer case. There was a gal that uh was married to a truck driver when I was a kid, and um another fella that we'd known was sitting around, we were having some dinner or some drinks, and and uh she was fairly attractive for an older gal. I was young, and she pulled out a bit. Oh, she was my parents' age. Oh, okay. So was it like pulling a grilled cheese sandwich apart? I don't know, I never pulled it apart. But anyway, she had a business card and she handed it to the other guy, and this guy was he was an ironhauler, and he was a pretty tough old guy, and it made him turn red. She handed him this business card, and it said, I was born in a mountain, raised in a cave, trucking and fucking is all I crave. And it made that old fella turn red when she handed him that business card. That's pretty neat. It's a pretty cool story, and that's true story.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:22

That's that's where that saying comes from that you say it. Yes. Okay, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:26

Yep. And and that woman had business cards made up. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:29

So there were women truckers back then?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:31

She was not. Her husband was. Okay. Her husband was, but I think she spread it around. Was there many? No. I mean, every every woman trucker I saw was a big fat nasty motherfucker. Now you look woman and there's a lot of people. I would there's some pretty good looking. There are big old bulldogs. Yeah, I wouldn't let my dog smell where they pissed.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:51

I had one come through my work and she was beautiful, and she was little and tiny. I'm thinking, you do this?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:57

Was it the blonde from Ice Road Truckers? It was no. They saw it.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:03

They gave her a big makeover because she was pretty rough, and they said, We need to refine you a little bit so you can be better for this. So they they gave her a big makeover. Yeah, I think she was pretty rough.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:18

She talks rough. They rough.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:19

She looked like that big guy from Polar Bear originally. Yeah, yeah. I think she sucked his dick, probably in an ice road trucker. She probably sucked his dick on the ice road. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:29

Now ice road's the best road to get a fucking went to.

unknown 1:05:34

Perfect.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:35

Have you done that? You've been on the ice road. Um speaking of women and trucking. Why why are you changing the subject?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:46

There I am at wheeling West Virginia. I think I might have told this story on here before.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:51

I I do have a story about West Virginia that I'll add after you guys. Isn't that for lovers? The TA, not really. That's Virginia. That's Virginia.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:59

And the This girl, she's catching me in line, and she's talking to everybody in line, you know, I'm here all night, blah blah blah. And I get up there and I pay for my stuff and I just kind of look at the cashier and I'm like, and she says, I'll tell you what, sweetie, she's one of the better ones you're gonna find here. I'm sitting in the truck, and I see her, and she climbs into this blue Kenworth, and a few minutes go by and she comes out, and she literally comes out passenger door, and she kind of squats down the parking lot and she pulls her pants down just a little bit. Shey Gatorade uh sports bottle and just douches that thing. Reddit shakes like a duck's ass, pulls her pants up, she goes, she knocks on another door, Brad's like, me knocks, me!

SPEAKER_02 1:06:54

Oh my god, no.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:55

Well, three or four door knocks, and she's climbing on the truck.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:00

And it's just like no, I was trucking in West Virginia, and this was a long time ago, and uh a buddy of mine was from West Virginia. His name was Billy, and uh his dad was. Alright. His dad was, yep. And uh anyway, he uh I called him up, I said, Billy, I said, uh, I think I met your cousin last night. I'm in West Virginia. He said, Really? I said, yeah. I said, uh, I got a blowjob from this lot lizard, and she had the same fucking gap between her front seats as you did. I said, so I'm assuming that was your cousin. And he told me, fuck you, Zelmer.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:49

So, so does that mean that Virginia is for lovers and West Virginia is for incest? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:55

Maybe. Well, it wasn't, she wasn't sucking his cut her cousin's dick. But she really I really didn't get a blowjob. I made it all up because he was from West Virginia, but we laughed like a motherfucker. He thought it was hilarious.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:08

I was getting a blowjob once from the one that likes these. Uh-huh. She's got a little gap right here in her teeth. And she dug a little deep, got my sack caught in her middle teeth, skimmed that motherfucker. Yeah, and she goes, Oh! And I went, ah! And she said, I think it's done my teeth. And I said, Well, get it out! And what does she do? Does it daintly go? She goes, Ripped it. No shit. It bled. Really?

SPEAKER_04 1:08:40

Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:42

Oh, hold on. So we got we got Kenny over here now. Welcome, Kenny. Hi. Kenny, what's your last name?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:48

Bushman.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:48

Bushman from Almont.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:51

Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:52

So Kenny's a truck driver. Mm-hmm. Let's hear your best Lotlizard story. Come on, don't be shy now. I've seen the girls from Elmont. Yeah. Oh man. Wait a minute. Almont. Isn't that the town where the men are men and the sheep are scared?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:08

Yes. Okay. Alright, go ahead, Kenny. Oh boy. I was in Youngstown, Ohio once.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:16

I'll rub your back while you're down.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:18

Yeah, baby. And I was with a good friend of mine who I'm gonna leave out. Yeah, don't grab.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:25

Yeah, we'll just do first names here. Real talk. You could do his first name. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:30

Ernie. Real talk. I heard a rat tat.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:33

That's not a very common name.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:35

I would have been like Steve. Sorry, Ernie. It's a brown lab at my house. So, anyways, I hear this rat tat-tat on my truck. And I was like, yeah, it was like five in the morning. I was like, hey man, you know what? Just just go get empty, I'll catch up with your radar. And I hear it again, and I said, Man, I'm good. Like, just go. Long story short, the guy next to me goes, Hey, I sent Granny over for you. I said, What? It was an older woman.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:12

How much older?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:13

I'm gonna say 60s.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:17

So good for us, but old for you. Yeah, scary for me.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:20

How old were you?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:21

Kenny's only 33.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:23

20. 28?

SPEAKER_04 1:10:27

29 now.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:28

So a couple days ago. But yeah, that's real. Other than that, I've never seen him. Ernie sent Ernie sent her over to you? Yeah. Did you see her?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:37

Well, that was nice of him. What a good friend.

unknown 1:10:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:41

So I know that the same fella, um Ernie? Would frequent the health spa by the TA in Youngstown and get his salad tossed. Stop. Is this Eric?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:58

No. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:59

No, it's Ernie.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:01

So did you let Granny in?

unknown 1:11:05

No.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:05

You're too scared. Lying motherfucker. You hesitated way too long. She pulled her dentures out and gave you the best blowjob you ever had. You got me.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:14

I never let one in because not because I didn't want some. I didn't let them in because I didn't want them kicking the shit out of my truck and stealing shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:23

Yeah. So if you would have You gotta hide it. You gotta hide your stuff.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:28

Yes. That's my problem. I do I do have a story about an older lot lizard. And it happened a long, long time ago, and I can tell it if you want to hear it. Well, my ears are open. Well, you knew he wanted to hear it. When I was in my early 20s, and very, very green to trucking 32 years ago, just for you guys doing that. A friend of mine wanted to get a blow job and he said, if you get a case of beer to go, I'll drive. And we were in Dearborn and uh we picked up some muscle. No, no, she was white gal, but she was old and didn't have any teeth. And uh is that really that much of a well I don't know because I was super fucked up. I was super drunk, but she said, uh, I don't know how many Budweiser because I was drinking a Budweiser, I drank Bud Heavies back then. Oh yeah. And she said, uh, I don't know how many Budweisers you drank, but I ain't gonna suck this motherfucker all night long. And my buddy was driving and I was in his bunk, and he turned around and said, You're gonna suck it till he's done. And that's the way it is. And uh she was giving me a blowjob while I was drinking my Budweiser, and he reached in her purse and grabbed a wad of fucking money, and then I got done, and he kicked her out. He rolled the fucking hooker. No, gotcha, bitch. Now I see her, I see him on Facebook, and he found Jesus, and uh he's very religious now, and I think, God damn it, you rolled a whole hooker with no fucking teeth. Now you call him Jesus. That's a true story. That's a hard story. That's awesome.

unknown 1:13:32

I'm proud of him.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:35

So you want him as your next guest.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:39

He was able to find Jesus. Hallelujah, so we'll so here's my thing.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:46

I think that he did a public service. Because how many times has that hooker rifled, been sucking on a guy and rifled through his wallet while sitting up on the dash of the truck on the cup holder, and she's over here and reaching back, getting the fucking lot of cash out of the house.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:03

See, that's why I never got one because I'm afraid I can't get it. You know what?

SPEAKER_04 1:14:08

Bless his heart. He did he did a public service. Do you know what his name was?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:13

I bet I heard his name was Bobby, I swear to God.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:19

My man. Hallelujah. Well, that's good stuff right there.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:28

So, how did you two find each other?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:32

Love connection.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:34

Truckers only.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:35

Truckerson.com.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:38

Actually, it's a new one. Studio haulers only. Oh iron bars.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:45

That's it. That's it. Because you don't go up there, do you?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:50

Where? Hold on. No, Kenny Kenny's been hauling iron for quite a few years. 12 years, 13 years.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:58

Oh, two days. So you've been doing it ever since you can get a license to them. Pretty much.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:05

And you got your own truck. I do. What's your company name?

SPEAKER_04 1:15:11

Hey, yeah, to put that out there.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:14

Is it Kenny something? Chicken Willie super truck. Oh.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:22

You hear that, Lizards? Yeah, Granny's still out there.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:27

Look for that on the door for him. So did you jump right into doing your own thing?

SPEAKER_00 1:15:34

No, it took me a little minute.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:38

Yeah, speak of the microphone.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:40

It took you what? It took me a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:43

How long you been on your own?

SPEAKER_00 1:15:47

2000. 2013-14? Oh, so you got a couple days. Yeah, he's got some time in.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:57

He sees he sees it.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:00

And then, I mean, everybody, everybody you know is on their own, ain't they? Neil, Darren. I mean, I know people that aren't, but yeah. Yeah, most of them. The people that are not, do they seem more stress-free or more stressed out?

SPEAKER_01 1:16:15

No, I think they're more stress-free. I think the people that that work for somebody, and there's a lot of good guys that work for somebody, and the good guys have really good jobs and get paid really, really well, and you think, god damn, I should be doing that. I shouldn't be trying to do something. Someday. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:33

Yeah. And all they got invested is a fucking lunch back.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:37

But you know, you look at some of that, because before I go to work every day, I get on Indy and I scroll through to see if there's anything that sparks my interest. And a lot of the trucking stuff still pops up. I am amazed. When I started 2010, 2011, I started at 37 cents a month. And now I will be on there looking and I will see a lot of jobs at 41 cents a month. Who the fuck is moving shit for 41 cents a month? I don't give a fuck if you are a company guy. You're getting fucked. You know, when I shot a truck driver's thousand percent when I speak English.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:22

When I started probably not when I started, I had $10,000 in my bank account. And uh I bought a truck. This was all within seven days. I bought a truck, a trailer, and got my insurance and got everything started, and I had $500 left.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:42

$9,500. You gotta start. Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:46

Not accounting the price of the truck, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:17:48

No, that was I financed the truck. Oh but that was a down payment on the truck, the trailer, and my insurance.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:54

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:55

How about when you started?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:58

Oh boy. I said, oh boy. Um I like what what do you want to like when I when I got my CDL or when I got my?

SPEAKER_04 1:18:08

Like what was when no, when you when you bought your truck.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:10

You started your own deal. Oh. Um I found my truck from a farmer just north of town. And it it it was sitting in a barn for probably Did you give him a hand job? No.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:24

I think he traded him to go with some pigs for him.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:27

But I have a story. Well, that's so so I uh long story short, I bought the truck and went through it and got it ready to go. And um, I don't know what exactly happened, but I I ended up talking to his daughter.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:44

Oh, I see where this is going.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:48

Yeah, real and and you know, so did you finger her? We ended up dating for quite some time.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:57

Did you get the truck cheaper? Because you're doing it.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:59

No, no, I already paid it in full. And uh, so was she into anal? So now I I don't recall. I don't really recall.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:09

But you can't get in trouble by HR's anal.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:12

You you seem like uh Fauci. I plead the fifth.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:15

Yeah, I plead the fifth. I plead the fifth. Um no, but we dated for a while. That means yes. Do you remember her name? I do. Does she remember you? A thousand percent.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:26

She'll never forget you.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:27

Nope. Nope. And you want to know something funny.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:31

So I really wanted, I really wanted a Harley for the longest time. Oh yeah. You know, all like from probably like 18, 19. Yeah. And uh my my dad said, no, no, no. Whatever. And man, you talked earlier about something that you lost that you wish you never lost. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:51

The farmer's daughter or the Harley?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:52

10-4. 10-4, because here I am, 29. Buddy, I got the Harley, but everything else went bye-bye. Damn it. Hey, you live and you learn.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:02

You do it.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:03

You wish you had the farmer's daughter still?

SPEAKER_04 1:20:06

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think you should get on the Harley, ride it to the farmer's daughter, and be like, hey, you still owe me one more ride. She's married. Umone? Because you can get half his shit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:23

Well, you know. You know what?

unknown 1:20:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:26

You know what? You might be on to something. Right. Because I had a buddy that was gonna message her.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:32

Yes. On your behalf? Before she got married.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:35

Yeah. You sure you know what you're doing? Let's send her the podcast.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:40

Yeah, yeah. Tell her to start on episode 43.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:43

That's a big 10-4. Yeah. But yeah, that's that's that's it.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:49

Hey, farmer's daughter, if you're out there, you're not happy at home. Come find Kenny.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:55

Yeah, look up Kenny.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:56

Look him up. He's still head over heels for you. Kick her back Kenny. Come on. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:02

Come in, come on.

unknown 1:21:03

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:04

Hell yeah. And you're on you. All right. I want to do something here. This is gonna be fun. And it's gonna be for all of us. Hey, let me see your notes quick. There ain't no notes. I already covered them except Cooter. But we'll get there. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:17

Oh, talking about Cooter? Yeah, he died. Yeah, I've seen that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:22

We've had him. We'll pay our respects to Cooter in a second. God damn it. We're gonna go around the table here. We're gonna start with Kenny. I want to hear your best Jake break impression. Oh shit. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:38

You know, there's there's two favorite sounds. No, not even. Not even. There's two favorite sounds that I absolutely love.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:48

Number one is the Jake break.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:50

I know, that's why I started with you.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:52

Number two, number two, you can probably figure out. The way the farmer's daughter squeals. Kick it back! But, anyways, if I had to guess what a jake break sounds like, it's probably like what do you think?

SPEAKER_04 1:22:12

That was stage one. Weaker than circus Kool-Aid. Alright, here you go. Her cooter shakes when she hears them jakes, right? Like that's that's the thing, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:22:24

So it's like I like Kenny's butter. I think that was from a fucking detroit.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:39

Was it a buzzin' dozen?

SPEAKER_01 1:22:41

No. No, it was a six cylinder. Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:44

D I push the button on the street and go to get it in the middle. This is gonna be good.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:56

Oh yeah, the next one's gonna be good.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:07

That's a fucking caterpillar too, right? Oh that's I mean, what's the fucking horsepower?

SPEAKER_04 1:23:18

Christy.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:21

I don't even know how to do one.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:23

Just make your best question. Right.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:27

I know, but I feel like. I don't even know how they go.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:37

They're like, um, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:41

That was a fucking BMW.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:46

I did not like my fucking Chevy.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:49

I have no idea how to do one. I've never tested this. I've never you have to give me time to prepare.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:56

Oh, we'll give you a minute.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:57

I put all of us on the spot at the same time. I know. And you had three rounds to figure out.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:02

How many times have you done this? He does the sound all the time. I've heard him do that.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:08

Me too. You do the sound all the time.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:11

Well, I flip the fucking switch. Yeah. I'm in a truck.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:14

All right, all right, Brad, let's hear yours.

unknown 1:24:20

Oh shut up.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:27

That sounds like a prostitute choking.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:37

I think you're right.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:38

What made me want to get into trucking is I watched a lot of 2020, and when the bitch pissed you off, you just leave her on the side of the highway. You know how many bodies they find? And it is truck drivers that kill them.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:51

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:52

We're watching one right now. Dudes killed like 20 chicks. Was it because they were trying to steal from us? What makes you got any women here? Oh, we do. Look at this. We got Christie. What makes you go to a fucking truck stop, chewing on a dog, and he says, Hey, you want to go with me? What makes you even think that's a good idea to jump in the truck?

SPEAKER_05 1:25:21

I say no. I'm already saying no.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:24

Can you see where these chicks come from in that? She jumped in my truck. But she knew you, I hope. Yeah. Yeah. For quite a while. I mean as as a woman, you do that. What the fuck makes that even seem like remotely a decent idea? None of it does. None of it seems. Yeah. Can you make any sense of it for me?

SPEAKER_05 1:25:45

I honestly I re I don't know. I don't. No, I can't. I can't figure it out.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:49

It blows my mind.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:51

I mean, I don't know if there's the issues, what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:56

I'm all about daddy issues. Yeah, probably daddy issues. I mean, yeah. She's like they're running away. My daddy was gone and he was in a truck. You wanna know why that was being a truck like my daddy was?

SPEAKER_04 1:26:09

That's because she never had a daddy that walked the line. That's right. Yeah, she's never had a daddy.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:16

From a guy's perspective, do you guys want one that'll just jump in there? For like 10 minutes. You're right. Not for 2,000 miles.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:26

How many miles are you taking her, Kenny?

SPEAKER_00 1:26:30

The next all the way to the next stop sign, man.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:34

I I just don't see. Yeah, they're they're they're not quality. I mean, but they'll work in a pinch, you know. You you you let 'em, you let them in, and then you're like, hey, here's five dollars. Can you go get me a cup of coffee and get you one too? And you wait until they freaking get in the door, and then you just hook her in here and leave. You know. That's after you dumped your load.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:01

I just guess a message from Facebook that said that we are no longer being uh recommended to anybody under 18. And I I I I hit the review button, like, no, fuck you, review this. It's probably my fault. Now I'm starting to see why that may well. I thought it was an adult podcast.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:21

This is life lessons with Bob and Brett and friends.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:25

I mean, a lot of people could learn. Right. Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:29

We're helping you stop being scammed.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:31

Right. Yeah. Yeah. And you guys, you two are getting old. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:36

Oh yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:38

Yeah. You guys uh answer them phone calls and give out your bank account information yet?

SPEAKER_01 1:27:44

Oh yeah, yeah. We we can't buy gift cards and shit. Go to your CVS and get ten gift cards with a thousand dollars for getting thousand dollars for the gift cards and send it to some camel jockey.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:00

Yeah. It's another group of people that I don't understand.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:03

But what about the guys that are always thinking that they're talking to these women and sending them I'm the fucking dude.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:11

Yeah. That's what they call it.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:16

I've got it through work. Like we I've got guys that just send their paychecks over and over, and then they say, I'm stuck at the airport, I'm I'm delayed. And these guys are like waiting at the airport for these new women. Well, George, how young are you?

SPEAKER_03 1:28:32

This old man that works for me, George. He uh he got a Filipino years ago, 30 some years ago. He ordered one. She showed up. And six, seven years later, she uh she divorces. I'm all done with you. This ain't working out. He was she into anal. Oh, she was into any analysis for six, seven years. Oh, yeah. And then she learned that she can stay now. So she got rid of him. And he my heart's broke. And she said, hey, was George circumcised? I can give him a buzz real quick. I'll ask him. Okay. But uh, he's all heartbroke. And he says, Well, what am I gonna do? And she says, things didn't work out with us, but I have a cousin. So he ends up spending a fuck ton of money on this Filipino cousin. She comes over here.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:34

Ooh, that's a new scandal.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:35

Well, a couple, six, seven years later, all of a sudden she doesn't want things ain't working out. He went through five steps of the fucking family. I mean, basically moved her whole family. Got them all the green cards. George George was smart. Yes, all them girls were.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:53

Well, yeah, I think George was very intelligent.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:55

He's living in a fucking camper on an 800 by 800 square patch in Battle Creek right now. Because he ain't got no fucking money.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:04

Yeah. So I have a personal story about catfish. Not the kind of catfish.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:09

You catfishing people?

SPEAKER_04 1:30:11

No. No. I was catfished by who? Don't know her real name? Don't care to, but I finally saw an actual picture of her, and my penis went inside and out my butthole because that bitch was fucking nasty.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:28

Did she have her ass on backwards?

SPEAKER_04 1:30:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:32

When was she?

SPEAKER_04 1:30:33

Yes. Years and years and years ago. At least 16 years ago. Well no, well over that.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:38

When when you saw the picture, did you jack off to it?

SPEAKER_04 1:30:42

Fuck no.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:43

No. You two are really young. Did you guys both have internet the whole time growing up? No. W.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:50

Come on.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:51

No. So mine was mine happened to be when the internet started getting big and you could you could find some bitches. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:06

Wait, wait.com or whatever. W.myass is on backwards.com. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:13

And I was on these sites fucking thumbing around, horny fucking little kid, you know, just choking it while you're on a site? Fuck yeah. Okay. Yeah. And uh I found this chick. And she was gorgeous. And uh I started messaging her. I'm young. I'm like, fuck yeah. Did you send her money? I could no. I could pull only 500. No, no, she was 500 pounds.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:41

Well, she's like, well, that's a lot to love. Sure.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:45

More than I had to give.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:46

I thought that was right up your alley back then.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:50

No, not that much.

unknown 1:31:51

No.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:52

350 was the limit.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:54

What's wrong with that?

SPEAKER_01 1:31:55

That's a lot. That's a lot to love.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:57

Well, I got a lot of love to give. I know. You got a big heart.

SPEAKER_07 1:32:01

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:02

So I'm she gives me these pictures, and then like, I'm like, I'm young and naive, and I'm like, oh, send me another picture. Send me the picture of you doing this. You know, because is that how you felt, or did you feel like you were just, oh yeah. No, I got this bitch. No, I thought I thought it was great because I'm like, this fucking hot chick, she's showing me pictures in a swimsuit on the beach, blah blah blah. Well, and this before, you know, camera phones and all that shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:32

Well, think what they could do with AI today. Right, right.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:36

I'm glad I'm not dumb. I'm glad I'm not dumb and naive now.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:40

I'd be prudent.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:41

I'm glad I'm not naive now.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:43

What?

unknown 1:32:44

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_04 1:32:46

Anyway, so she's like, oh, I can't, my digital camera broke. I'm like, well, go to the store and buy another one, bitch. I need a titties. Well, let me send that to you in a track. No, I did not. I did not. Did you send me a gift card? And it all it all came to a head when I was gonna meet her.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:05

No, probably not.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:06

I was gonna meet her, and then she kept coming up with excuses why she couldn't meet me to hang out.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:10

So, what was her end game here?

SPEAKER_04 1:33:12

If she ain't ever gonna meet you, I think because she was so fucking disgusting.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:16

You had to been giving her money.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:18

No.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:18

Why is she still being a friend of yours?

SPEAKER_04 1:33:20

Because I was telling her how good looking she was and all that, and it built built her self-esteem, which happened to be a fucking huge void to fill. What was it a dude? No, no, it was a chick.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:30

You ever seen one of them chicks that send you a bikini picture from like here to here and here to here? And it's like, damn, that looks hot. But they missed this whole part. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Oh, I do. That's true. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:43

So when it all finally came out, and I realized that I'd been fucking catfish.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:48

Tell her you loved her anyway. I love you for your personality. Was it your brother? Mac fucking. I did, because I was so fucking easy to do.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:56

You told her you loved her? Yeah. And I told her, I says, I says, you know what? I understand that you're not happy with yourself and all this. I says, but I've grown to love you for who you are by the things that we talk about. I said, just send me an actual picture of yours of yourself. And and I'm good with that, because I think there's a connection.

SPEAKER_07 1:34:18

Until she did.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:19

And she did, and I was like, fucking disgusting. Like step bitch was running about 500 pounds all day long.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:27

So there goes 400 hours of AOL just out the window. You know how much dial I used on that fucking car? That's why Steve couldn't get the $10 handjobs.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:38

How many times did you hit it?

SPEAKER_03 1:34:40

Zero. Never even saw it in person. Okay. Here's a fun question. You got to spring one upon everybody.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:48

Like you, we're going to start with Kenny.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:50

Oh my God. There you go, Kenny. Because it's fun.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:54

You don't apply to this one.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:56

What's the question?

SPEAKER_03 1:34:57

Well, maybe you do. That's for you to determine.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:00

All right.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:01

What is, if you were guessing gross weight is the biggest girl you've ever done.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:08

Oh, that's well, if she ain't 380, she ain't a lady. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:25

Please do.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:27

You know. You're Mr. B. I'm a little guy. We we had to bust out the lift axle on the pick a book drop.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:38

I'm not even mad anymore. Thank you. They only love it. Everybody does. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:46

Hey.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:47

I have a story about that.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:49

Oh, please do.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:50

So many stories.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:51

We love it.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:52

Oh, it's your turn.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:52

Yeah, yep, yep, yep.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:56

So. That 500 pound was disgusting, but ain't nothing wrong with 495.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:01

He said 380, motherfucker. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:03

You said the 500-pound catfish. Was nasty.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:06

He said Kenny said 380. Yeah. So, once upon a time, and I'm gonna I'm I'm gonna answer your question with a story, and I think you're probably gonna do the same. I am. Okay. So once upon a time, I'm at the bar with my brother. Which one? John. Okay. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:27

And uh he don't have a white girl.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:30

He don't have a vehicle.

unknown 1:36:32

Huh.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:33

We're at the bar together, we're in my truck, and I got a brand new pickup truck. And we're there drinking, and there's these three broads come in. They were all running about probably 280, 300 pounds each.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:48

They're just right, weren't they?

SPEAKER_04 1:36:50

Yeah, for me they were. I found the prettiest one out of them, and I started flirting with her because desperate times call for desperate measures.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:00

Well was this after the whole internet thing? Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:04

No, yeah, right. Well, about same time. Same time. Same time. Because I was I was free and ready to go. I had no no commitments, no nothing.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:13

Oh wow. And uh good for you.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:16

Yeah. And uh so I started flirting with the one, and she was she was real pretty. She just was a lot of nice personality. Very, very nice personality.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:28

Yeah, I love the personality once.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:32

You ever fuck the personality? Yeah, yeah. Uh huh. Yeah. So they're like, yeah, why don't you come back to our house and hang out? We'll do some more drinking after the bar closes. My brother, he's like, dude, I gotta go. I got some chick lined up. He's like, I'm gonna take you over there, follow you to their house. I'm gonna take your truck and go take care of what I gotta take care of. He says, I'll pick you up in the morning. And I'm like, no, you ain't fucking taking my brand new truck. Like, that ain't happening. He says, Yeah, yeah, you will. It'll be fine.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:08

You got 740 pounds of fucking sweet meat waiting on you.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:13

And that's exactly why I stayed and let him take my new truck.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:17

I knew it!

SPEAKER_04 1:38:19

I went home from the bar with six and a half women that night.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:26

But there was only three, really?

SPEAKER_04 1:38:28

Well, one was extra big. So I was your personality. Charming.

SPEAKER_05 1:38:35

She was probably super sweet.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:37

No, actually, she was the worst one on the bottom. I was gonna say, she really the biggest one.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:40

You got that, you got that pecking order with girls. You got the hot one that brings all her fat friends, so she is guaranteed to always look hot.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:48

Absolutely. Yup.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:49

And then you've got the really bad one that should be the most charming, but her attitude sucks because she thinks she's some bad bitch.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:59

No, you are we've all been there.

SPEAKER_04 1:39:02

So that night I stayed. Didn't have a fucking choice. I'd have a vehicle at this point, right? So I get in the old fucking bed, snuggle up with Beggins there, and uh and we're we're we're snuggling and fooling around, you know, life's good. I'm like, fuck yeah, I'm gonna get my dick sucked tonight. I did not. What? No, I got a hand job.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:27

You fuck your thighs at least?

SPEAKER_01 1:39:29

What was a hand job from you or her?

unknown 1:39:31

From her.

SPEAKER_04 1:39:33

Good question. She reached over and put her hand in my pants and took a $50 bill up. This was before the hand job. She reached in my pants, pockets, and she felt money. And so she took a $50 bill out of my pocket and she took it from him. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Well, I said, I ain't I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:51

But you had a marker to chuck it with.

SPEAKER_04 1:39:53

No, no, she did not. She stuck it, she stuck it in her pocket.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:59

She wanted you to reach.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:00

Well, and I'm fooling around. I kept trying to get it. She's like fucking lays on that pocket. Paul. Couldn't get her enough, could you? I was in pretty good shape, but I wasn't in that good shape. Yeah. And uh big heavy. Yeah. So we fool around, we play around, this and that. Get my hand job. And then I'm like, oh, why don't you hold me for a minute? That bitch done fucked up. I rolled over to myself, she rolled off, got a big old thunder thigh, and she's over there, and I'm feeling her up, you know, from me high. She was a big spoon, and you were the little spoon. You're fucking right. I'm always a little spoon. And I'm feeling around on her. And I feel her pocket. I slip my hand in there, and I grabbed that 50 and I said, Gotcha, bitch. And uh put it back in my pocket, and I said, It's time for me to go. And I text my brother and I said, I hey, come fucking get me now before I get fucking murdered here. And so about 10 minutes later, he shows up. I'm like, see ya. Wouldn't want to be it. Yeah. So that's my story.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:58

That 50 smell like my wallet.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:01

Probably had a very similar smell.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:04

Did she have a set of balls?

SPEAKER_04 1:41:06

No. No.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:07

She's in his wallet, just really big loins. That's what his wallet says.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:11

So I went home one night from the bar with six and a half women, even though there was only three brains. That ain't bad. Yeah. So 380. I'm with you, buddy. Go ahead there. Well.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:24

I like a Zomer story.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:25

Yeah, me too. I dated this gal back in the day, and and I will say she did have a really nice personality. And uh she was a bigger gal. And I decided that I was gonna take her to Cedar Point. Because she hadn't experienced a lot of things in life.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:44

You did that just because you're a dick and you knew she couldn't get the down. No.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:47

No story isn't motherfucker. Let me tell her. Alright. Let me tell my story, motherfucker. I will. That's right. Anyway, that was when Top Fuel Dragster first opened up. The first year for it. Oh, so this ain't that long ago. Oh, yeah, it was fucking 20-some years ago.

SPEAKER_04 1:42:04

You're older than you think, Brad.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:05

Yeah, it was 20-some years ago.

SPEAKER_05 1:42:07

We've been married for 15, so.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:09

Yeah. Yeah. I don't mean. Yes, it does. Anyway. Look up. Oh. Can you quit on Quitty?

SPEAKER_03 1:42:18

No, I'm just curious. Just let him tell a story.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:22

I'm not gonna tell a story if you keep fucking with me.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:24

I'm done.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:26

Anyway. We got on top fuel dragster and they put the bar down, and they couldn't get the bar closed on that big old guy.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:36

I was just joking.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:37

No, I'm serious. This is terrible. That's an over-the-head one. Yeah, it's an over-head bar. And uh and they said, Yeah, we we can't close it. Jesus. They said we can't close it. And uh she goes, I'll just get off and wait over here for you. Go ahead and ride. And I was like, alright. And uh I really want to ride top fuel drive shirt, so I wrote it.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:04

Thank God she got off, or there'd be 40 people pissed off because I was like a fucking Hugo taken off.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:10

Were you like, here, hold my bags?

SPEAKER_01 1:43:12

I will say, if she's listening, I'm sure she's not, but she was a really nice girl.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:20

To the top fuel dragster. I never wrote it because every time we were there it was broke down. Is it fun?

SPEAKER_01 1:43:26

Oh yeah. Yeah, it it takes off like a fucking rock.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:29

Because they just got rid of that and replaced it with top fuel two or some shit, didn't they?

SPEAKER_05 1:43:33

Yeah, I just that's what they were putting on for 2022.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:36

Plus Top Fuel 2 set up for bigger people? Reunited! It feels so good.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:44

Like maybe you can fit now. But really, I mean Christy probably won't let me take her back. With those rides. And for as fat as America is, they should make them tight. That's embarrassing.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:03

They're tight.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:04

Well, even like you with the big boobitch.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:06

Oh, it's bad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:09

Okay, Christy. What's the fattest bitch you ever found?

SPEAKER_06 1:44:16

I don't have one.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:19

You you get a pass.

SPEAKER_06 1:44:20

I do.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:22

And I knew that was me.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:25

Yeah, but you ain't no bitch.

SPEAKER_06 1:44:27

No.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:27

I ain't no bitch. All right, Brad. Mine was. And I'm gonna try to do this without the name, because I usually when I admit a story, I get it through my name.

SPEAKER_07 1:44:41

I'm just asking.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:44

No, it was it was sorry, we know.

SPEAKER_07 1:44:55

You sure? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:59

Um tell your story now. So this big girl. She was big. And we get the beer. Holy wowzers. Bob, what what time what time is that? Just so I know. It don't matter. I didn't know because I got a beer.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:21

Yeah. It was about 1.45. Okay, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:26

Um what the fuck is wrong with you? I thought it was super funny, like wiping my balls on your CPF. That's what you get for interrupting historic. It's funnier.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:39

Um Jesus Christ. So let's check. Who?

SPEAKER_03 1:45:44

Big girl. Last name starts with a W.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:48

Um Perfect.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:50

Brought her home and to be honest, far better than what I thought it would be.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:59

What was her name? What's she weighing at?

SPEAKER_05 1:46:00

But I think Yeah, we never gotta weigh.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:02

Like the big girls are about like that. And the smaller girls are in. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01 1:46:09

It it does because a little more worn. The big girls have more meat around their vagina. Pushing in. Yes. Yes. Yep. And the skinny girls have big huge holes. Yes, they do. But I always thought it was from use. No, nope, it's because there's no meat around it. I did not so what is that? It's a fact. Look it up.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:32

What is that stuff that they inject? Botox. Botox. Could you Botox your pussy and be a skinny girl at a skin hole?

SPEAKER_04 1:46:40

Maybe, maybe. Bad idea, and I only know this because Dexter does. No. Dexter does Botox, and I'm like, I said to him one day, I said, hey, I need to borrow some of that Botox. I'm gonna shoot it in my pecker and make that thing plump right up. He says, hey, dumb shit. Botox is a muscle relaxer. Yeah, so if a chick Botox her box, it'd be like throwing hot dogs.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:11

And then you just got a lot of flop.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:13

Oh, I didn't see all that. I did not even know.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:16

Anyway, it's like a tensioner. That's yeah. No, it's it's a muscle relaxer.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:20

Why would you put it in here to make your because it relaxes the muscles pulling down, I guess. Hey, I'm no kind of cow, just like a little bit of so anyway, what was her name?

SPEAKER_03 1:47:33

Anyway, this would be uh last name starts with a W. W.

SPEAKER_05 1:47:37

Um We still didn't get a number though.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:39

Oh, she was probably I was 290 at my fattest, so she had to bend right around there. You were 290? Not 293. Oh, really?

SPEAKER_05 1:47:49

I can't even imagine.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:50

Oh, you've seen me here. Yeah. You were 293 here? Yeah. Oh you were? I don't think so. You wore it well. You wore a well. You did, yeah. I would have never wanted that. Well, you wore it well. I would have never I would have never guessed that. Yeah, and you see it.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:07

Anyway, you see the old pictures from just eight months ago, and I was uh small wonder she didn't want to do anything.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:14

Would you tell your story already?

SPEAKER_03 1:48:15

Oh this crazy bitch. So she's like borderline, probably 298 to 302. You know, she's pretty hefty. Uh she's short. No, I said forward. Ford 302. Oh, it didn't run that good. Oh, okay. Well, I wake up in the morning and I'm a little chilled. I guess I go to grab a blanket. I got nothing.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:46

He forgot to put the party tan on the bed.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:48

Must have nicked knock the fucking blankets on the ground. So I get up and grab the blankets and I look and she's gone. I'm like, fuck yeah. Girl that knows her role, she's gone. Well, I reach over the edge of the bed, no blankets. I got a sheet. Chuck her, chuck your blankets. So I go to my closet to put on a flannel, may as well get up. I'm up already.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:13

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:14

I got a flannel. Oh my drawers. Everything's empty. What the fuck? I go walking out in the kitchen, and there's uh no. Written really neat. I think she even used a heart for the eye. Hey babe, you're exhausted. I know you work hard all the time. So I thought I'd do you a favor because you were sleeping. I'll let you sleep. I took all your stuff to mom and dad's to wash it. Okay. Oh, still got my kidneys, thank God. This bitch is nuts. So I call my buddy and I says, Hey, you gotta bring me some shorts, a shirt, and a pair of shoes.

SPEAKER_05 1:49:53

She took everything. Everything.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:55

She was moving his ass into mom and dad's store. We got some cycles.

SPEAKER_05 1:50:00

I think that's some psycho shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:02

2 15, 2 30 in the morning, and these stairs leading to my apartment were fucking, I think there was like 31 stops straight up. Open the door to go up the steps and I look up. Who's up there with a laundry basket full of shit? Where in the fuck have you been? And I said, you took all my fucking shit. We went out, got me some fucking clothes, and then we were at the bar. And who the fuck are you to ask me where I've been? Oh, you just don't even care when somebody tries to show you love. I wish I knew what happened to you. And she you know what she did? The worst. Had I known, I would have said, Oh maybe no. We'll be alright. But no, she does this. Flips that fucking the both of them. The fucking laundry glasses. Oh, I thought you meant the tit. No. There goes all my clean clothes down these dirty fucking steps.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:59

You should have been more appreciative, is what I'm taking from this story.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:03

Yeah. What are you gonna do? You wake up, everything you have is gone. You think she's normal and deserving?

SPEAKER_04 1:51:10

She obviously took it serious and you didn't. It was fucking two hours max.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:16

I think it was love.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:20

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:20

You know what?

SPEAKER_03 1:51:22

Are we about done?

SPEAKER_04 1:51:23

You'd bite your nose off in spite of your face, Brad. I've heard that before, Bob, and what does that even mean? It means you're short fucking sided. That woman would have loved you and held you and kept you warm for years.

SPEAKER_06 1:51:38

That's psycho.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:39

No, that's psycho. I would have ended up tied down to a bed with my knees broke. But maybe it was psycho. Yeah. Misery. Yeah. Misery. Yeah, yep.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:46

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:47

Yep. That's fucking psychotic.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:49

Yeah. Yeah. She was trying to help him.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:52

There's there's no way. If it was like a one-night stand or whatever it was that you guys had or whatever. Well, that's all I would be waking up. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:52:01

I I could hey, I had I Yeah, go ahead. I can relate to that story a little bit. How? When Chris and I got together when we first started dating, um, Chris had to work on a Saturday and I didn't, or a Friday, I can't remember what it was. Saturday. Um, anyway, I went down her basement and there was a pile of laundry.

SPEAKER_05 1:52:27

Yeah, don't worry, I'm not doing your shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:52:32

Six foot tall, and I was like, what in the fuck? And I did all her laundry that day when she was at work. You know, girl, you can save a lot of money if you'd wash this instead of buying new shit.

SPEAKER_06 1:52:44

Oh, I bought new shit.

SPEAKER_04 1:52:45

But you know what? That was him showing his affection and love.

SPEAKER_01 1:52:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:49

Yeah, and that's that's completely normal. And she was like, I don't have room to put all that shit away. And I was like, how many pairs of underwear did you sniff as you're throwing them in the money?

SPEAKER_01 1:53:02

34. I preferred the ones with the cotton crotch because they held a set better than you stick your fingers in there.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:16

What do you okay, Christy? Book order, the producer says it's time to go. What is the point of the pocket? Good question. Oh, good question.

SPEAKER_05 1:53:28

You know what? That came up, and I wish I could remember. Do you know?

SPEAKER_03 1:53:32

There, no, I'm assuming it's someplace to put them little dash smellies that you put right in your life. Yeah, the trees clip off a little pine tree. Yeah. Do you know what the point is? So you've never used the pot.

SPEAKER_05 1:53:48

No, no, I don't use it. But there is a reason for it. Sitting there peeing and grab the skittle. I honestly, I when I learned about it, it was like two years ago.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:59

And was it a good reason?

SPEAKER_05 1:54:01

Uh honestly, I can't even remember. Yeah, I don't. I don't. It was something You Google it? I think it was something I think it's something that you probably don't want to hear about. Like what is it?

SPEAKER_03 1:54:10

I always thought like maybe it was like a pad sticker before the pads were sticking.

SPEAKER_05 1:54:14

Yeah, and that's where I I think it was, but I I can't remember. But you're Google what we got.

SPEAKER_04 1:54:19

I got I fact checked it.

SPEAKER_05 1:54:21

There we go.

SPEAKER_04 1:54:23

The pocket in women's underwear is not a storage pocket for your little buzzbox. It is a byproduct of how the gusset, an extra layer of breathable, moisture-wicking fabric, usually cotton, sewn in the crotch area, is manufactured. Leaving one end unstitched during assembly prevents bulky, uncomfortable seams against sensitive skin.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:53

I don't remember that. Everybody should have a cotton crotch.

SPEAKER_05 1:54:57

Cotton's better, it's breathable.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:59

Yeah, everybody should have a cotton crotch.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:00

So there's your answer. Huh. It's not the stuffful baggies of coke seems to be.

SPEAKER_05 1:55:05

You get the fucking cut out and manufacture. Some don't have it though.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:09

Oh, they don't?

SPEAKER_05 1:55:10

Some don't.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:11

Mine don't have it. Neither do mine. Okay, guys.

SPEAKER_05 1:55:14

But but some some of mine don't have it.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:16

Do you guys spread it apart and go through, or do you go up and over when you're peeing? Up and over. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:24

Drop them, old son.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:25

Yep. Yeah. Yeah. You go down.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:28

You go through the barn door? For what?

SPEAKER_01 1:55:31

When you pee. Yes, I usually go through the barn door.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:35

Now, why do you think three of us that go over the top and one of us? Like, did our moms not know how to teach us? And yours did, or yeah, maybe not.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:46

So what do you do if you get a pair of underwear that don't have the I have some that don't have the barn door and I don't care for them. I have to undo them and then pull it out.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:57

And that's my preferred move.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:59

I mean, when when I gotta wheel that motherfucker out, I want it to be as convenient as it can be because it's a job. See, to me that seems harder.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:08

Yeah. To me, it seems harder to wheel in between. Next time you guys pee, weave it through. It's a lot of work, I think. The front? Yeah. I'd rather just drop it over.

SPEAKER_04 1:56:23

Over the top. Not through the barn door.

SPEAKER_00 1:56:25

No question. Yeah. If you're over the top, then you're at a bar and you're in a in a you know a little, like not a stall, but you know. Yeah. What do you do when you got your shit dropped and some dude walks behind you? I keep poker right here.

SPEAKER_02 1:56:38

Oh, one of them old men. Do you really drop your shit all the way to the bed? No, you don't.

SPEAKER_06 1:57:02

Do you have to do sip?

SPEAKER_00 1:57:04

Depends how much I drank. Different story.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:13

I gotta pee. Oh, you gotta be. Well, let's expect. Let's say goodbye.

SPEAKER_05 1:57:17

No, real quick. I gotta pee.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:19

He's gonna pee and he'll be right back.

SPEAKER_05 1:57:20

You're just gonna have to edit that out.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:22

Oh no, we don't edit nothing. That one part. It's unfiltered bob and bread. You can edit. No, we don't. I don't edit. I'm not smart enough to edit it. Really? Yeah, no, this is the what you see is.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:34

I barely have enough time to put together six TikToks per episode. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:39

Which is getting a little fucking irritating.

SPEAKER_05 1:57:40

Well, if you had uh some 33 cents or whatever.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:45

Well, if we had 33 cents a day, Brad could go to Auto Body School.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:48

No, Bob, I would like to see.

SPEAKER_05 1:57:50

Well, I thought that you were gonna hire a uh content creator. Let me know.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:54

Jessica, where's um I'd like to say one thing before we do this is um this is our second episode with guests.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:05

Correct.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:06

So I would like the people that listen to go and give us some feedback on this shit. Do you guys like guests or do you like me and him by ourselves?

SPEAKER_04 1:58:16

Oh, and if you're still listening, and you motherfuckers better be. But don't don't lie to us. Back to the question of the one thing that you wish you still had that you got rid of. Send an email in at info at perpetually wrong.com and tell us the one thing you wish you had. Because we were interested to know that.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:41

The other thing I'd like to know is what do you think your baby is.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:44

What's the biggest bitch you ever fucked?

SPEAKER_03 1:58:48

Include pictures. And there you go. I'd like to know, like. And we're gonna bring this up on our next show. Yeah. So send your ideas, because I'd like to share them prior to. What is the one piece of quote-unquote wisdom you have?

SPEAKER_04 1:59:08

Oh boy. Something you can learn from. Hey, look, Brian's just back to give his one piece of wisdom that he wishes he had. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:16

What's that? What's one piece of wisdom that you heard growing up that you wish you had listened to?

SPEAKER_04 1:59:23

Taken seriously.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:24

Yeah. And it only had to be when you're grown up, it could be yesterday. I don't know. One piece of advice. Or how about one piece of advice you would give any kid growing up nowadays?

SPEAKER_01 1:59:38

Well, I can think of one piece of advice my dad gave me. Smart man, by the way. Yep, Don't Ellen.

SPEAKER_05 1:59:45

I think I know it.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:48

He said, he told me when I was young, I was probably 15, 14, 15. He said, uh. That is a hundred percent fact.

SPEAKER_03 2:00:06

It's like in hockey. You only miss all the shots you don't take.

SPEAKER_01 2:00:09

Yep. That's what my dad told me.

SPEAKER_05 2:00:12

They'll never come back around. That is that's not what I expected.

SPEAKER_01 2:00:16

What were you expecting?

SPEAKER_04 2:00:18

Hey, and sometimes you don't lose your girlfriend, you just lose your turn.

SPEAKER_01 2:00:22

Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. What did you expect?

SPEAKER_05 2:00:25

I I thought you were you would have said that um uh you don't stop in uh scale houses. There's never no money to be able to do it. There ain't no money to be made. Ain't no motherfuckers.

SPEAKER_01 2:00:38

Ain't no money to be made to scale. No. So you might as well truck around by wrap this up because I gotta piss. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:45

So um, Kenny, thank you for being on. Christy, yeah, Barking Bitches, Stella Lily.

SPEAKER_06 2:00:52

Stella and Lily made the big view.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:55

Thank you for the beer.

SPEAKER_04 2:00:56

Yes, thank you. And for all you sad motherfuckers, we're about to have smoked burgers and chicken on the on the smokers. Me too. I am too. So it was a lot of fun. I think this is a good episode. You guys did awesome. All three of you guys. It ain't easy. No, it's not.

SPEAKER_01 2:01:13

No, it pretty much was.

SPEAKER_04 2:01:17

So we're gonna go ahead and end it. And as always, stay positive, test negative, and we'll catch you next week.